


The Last Tuesday Before Junior Year

by Millabloop



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Aged up characters, Implied Anxiety, Kippen Siblings, M/M, a little underage drinking and hangover, accidental texting au, canon divergence - they didn't meet tj in middle school, eventual angst, jonah has two moms, theyre in high school chillin, tj and amber have an older sister (she's named winnie)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:54:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22109698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Millabloop/pseuds/Millabloop
Summary: Cyrus Goodman did not expect to be woken up at three in the morning on the last Tuesday before junior year. TJ Kippen did not expect to wake up in his own bed to a message from a number far too close to Amber’s with a pounding headache on the last Tuesday before junior year.
Relationships: Amber/Andi Mack, Cyrus Goodman/T. J. Kippen, Jonah Beck/Libby
Comments: 39
Kudos: 141





	1. three am

Cyrus Goodman did not expect to be woken up at three in the morning on the last Tuesday of the summer before junior year. 

The first buzz shocked him awake, his eyes blinking open and stinging with the side effects of sleep. He’d fallen asleep with his phone resting on his pillow, gossiping the night away with Andi and Buffy before passing out. A few seconds stumbled by and Cyrus began to let his heavy eyes droop shut. The second buzz vibrated his pillow and echoed through his skull, causing him to abruptly sit up in a cross-legged position.

Gathering some of his bed sheets in his fist, Cyrus rubbed the back of his hand into his eyes, pushing and pushing until he saw stars and then released the pressure. He blinked into the darkness a few times, letting his eyes adjust before his phone buzzed a third time, spilling a faint blue light into the inky black of Cyrus’s room. Through squinted eyes, Cyrus stared at his phone, letting out a heavy sigh of frustration as he involuntarily focused on the notifications. 

Out of the assumption they were just frisbee memes Jonah found on another one of his late night r/ultimate scourings, Cyrus decided to ignore the texts. He gently cupped his hands around the sides of his phone and dropped it over the edge of his bed, ignoring the dull thump of the phone making contact with the carpeted floor as he fell back into the comfort of his pillow. 

His eyes shut and refused to open.

-

Cyrus woke up again at 7:00 in the morning to the sound of pots clattering and muffled laughter filtered through the walls. He laid still for a minute, his back and shoulders pressed into his mattress and eyes trained on the glow-in-the-dark stars scattered across his ceiling.

He startled at the sound of metal clanging from the floor below and lifted his head in the direction of his open door. Cyrus raised himself with his elbows and pushed his feet over the bed’s side edge, sliding them into a pair of striped slippers. He stood up shakily and stretched his arms high above his head. 

He swooped down and picked his phone up from the floor, flipping it over and watching as the screen lit up with messages. Two Instagram notifications from 6:40 AM, 4 Twitter mentions from 6:20 AM, and most shockingly to Cyrus, three text notifications from a number he didn’t recognize around 3:00 AM. 

2:56 AM  
Unknown Number  
If ducks could talk do you thngk theyd idk like fukgin curse us ou t ??? like alot?? ? all the tim?e???

3:02 AM  
Unknown Number  
hey bithcface ansewr me im ery drumk adn askibing a very inportent question

3:08 AM  
Unknown Number  
hh shit ots 3 am sorry amb go to sleap sor ryr

Without hesitation, Cyrus screenshotted the messages and swiftly sent them to the GHC + Jonah group chat with an additional 10 question marks. He stared at the taunting grey bubbles for a second longer before shoving his phone into his pocket and trying his best to ignore it. 

Lazily running a hand through his hair, Cyrus shuffled to the top of the staircase and breathed in the scent of cinnamon wafting from downstairs. He ducked into the bathroom, quickly splashing his face with cold water, taking out his retainers and brushing his teeth, before heading downstairs toward the kitchen. 

“Morning, Mom, Todd.” Cyrus tucked his hands into the pockets of his sleep pants, resting his shoulder on the frame of the door way.

“Oh!” Leslie Goodman glanced over her shoulder, her face glowing with the type of joy only morning people can have, before returning her attention to a sink full of dirty dishes. “Good morning, love-bug. Did we wake you?”

“Yeah, but as long as whatever smells amazing tastes amazing I’ll call it even.” Cyrus slid atop a stool next to a very droopy Todd, who waved a small hello with a sleepy, but whole hearted “Mornin’ Cy-Guy.”

Leslie smiled at her son, setting her bowl on the countertop and wiping her hands on a tea towel. She pulled open the oven, dramatically inhaling as cinnamon and warmth swam through the room.

“Maple glaze brown sugar cinnamon scones, just for you. And your step-father. And me.” She shut the oven door and pressed the light button, illuminating the inside of the oven.

“Don’t forget the Good Hair Crew.” Todd lifted his finger, pointing it at Leslie. Everyone’s attention was fixed on the scones through the oven door, just watching them sit there in their glory.

“I could never. Extras just for Andi and Buffy. And for Jonah too, I don’t know why you don’t add him to the GHC. We can bake them fresh next time they come over, I’ll save some dough.” Leslie shut off the oven’s light and wandered back to the sink, picking up a sponge and beginning to clean a measuring cup.

“The GHC has been and always will be the perfect trifecta. Are the scones laced?” Cyrus asked blankly. His mother threw a look over her shoulder, pausing her cleaning before resuming. Leslie and Todd answered simultaneously, his mom sternly replying “Cyrus. Of course not.” and his step-father giving a passionate “Laced with love.”

Cyrus loved mornings like this, the kinds that are soaked in a warm cozy feeling and feel like the sun kissing the tips of your fingers and toes as it floods your body with light.

A rhythmic buzz from his pocket prompted Cyrus to pull his phone out. He watched the screen light up with a call screen displaying a picture of a grinning Andi squished between Bex and Bowie in a tight hug.

He swiped to accept and set his phone to his ear, hopping off the stool and walking into the living room.

“Cyrus, what the hell was that screenshot?” Andi’s voice, filtered by a drowsy layer of morning sleepiness, rang through his ear.

“Good morning to you too, Andi. I have no clue what that screen shot is because I have no clue who that person is. Help?” Cyrus fell back onto the couch, kicking off his slippers and pulling his knees to his chest. 

“How am I supposed to help you? FYI I’m putting you on speaker, hold on.” Cyrus heard muffled rustling then the clack of the phone being set on something. “Okay, go ahead.”

“I don’t know what to do! I need a plan, like, do I respond or just swipe and block?” Pulling at a loose string on the nearest blanket, Cyrus tried to sound less distressed than he felt. 

“This calls for a GHC meeting, in my opinion. Pink or yellow?” Cyrus made a face at her former statement, this wasn’t that major of an issue.

“Yellow. It’s just a few text messages, do we really need to make a big deal out of this?” Cyrus stopped picking at the string and pushed away the blanket with the heel of his hand. He heard something thump and Andi let a string of forcefully whispered swear words.

“Yes, Cyrus. In this house, we make a big deal out of everything. We were going to hang out today anyway - why not just speed up the process? Where should we meet up?” 

“My mom is making some scones and stuff right now, if you come to my mom’s house and get Jonah and Buffy on the way, my mom can supply breakfast for all of you.”

“Yes! Okay, I’ll see you in, like, an hour max. Later Cy.” The line went dead and Cyrus sighed. It’d be a long morning.

45 minutes later, Andi showed up at his doorstep with a very disheveled Jonah Beck and Buffy Driscoll in tow. 

They sat sprawled across Cyrus’s room, all happily eating fresh scones, the GHC gulping down cups of chocolate milk and Jonah sipping a glass of water. After explaining the situation to his very sleepy friends, he threw his phone to the carpeted floor, groaning in frustration.

“Well, you know the guy, don’t you, Cy?” Jonah waved his scone around as he spoke, drooping eyes following the movements. He took a sip of his water.

“No, Jonah! The whole point of waking you up this early was to figure out what to do because Cyrus doesn’t know who this is.” Buffy gave Andi a look that blatantly read how did you date a dumbass like this.

“It’s fine J, it’s 8 and you usually wake up mid afternoon, your brain is a little fuzzy.” Andi patted Jonah’s knee and gave him a friendly smile, then turned to Cyrus. “Let me see the number.” She stretched across the distance between Cyrus’s desk chair and his bed with her arm held out. 

Cyrus dropped his unlocked phone into her open hand, watching as she returned to her seat, unlocked her own phone and scrolled through her text messages.

“Well the number has a different area code than us, so that must mean something? It is similar though.” Andi glanced up at Cyrus through her eyelashes before continuing to scroll through her messages.

“I’m guessing they were trying to text someone with our, or at least similar, area code, though, so I don’t think it means anything.” Jonah and Buffy nodded as Andi frisbee tossed Cyrus’s phone back to him.

“I say you just text them back, they’ll probably just, I don’t know, apologize or something. Text ‘em.” Buffy stated and stood up. “I’m getting more chocolate milk, don’t send anything until I get back.” 

“Pour me a cup of coffee please?” Jonah clasped his hands together and gave her the strongest puppy dog eyes he could. Buffy narrowed her eyes at him and disappeared through the doorway. Jonah shouted a rushed “Cream too please thanks you’re the best!” after her.

“Hell no, you’re lactose intolerant, idiot!” Buffy shouted back.

“What do I write then?” Cyrus asked, staring at the mysterious messages. “I still think we’re blowing this out of proportion.” Andi shook her head and got up from her chair, climbing onto Cyrus’s bed and pulling his phone out of his hands. Jonah laid down next to her, watching as she typed.

“There.” Andi displayed the text for the boys.

“No! I don’t want to sound that mean!” He took his phone and edited her words. “Is that good?” 

Jonah shook his head. “You’d sound like a dweeb, let me see that.” He held the phone face down for a moment before swinging it up and tapping away. He finished typing and gave the it back to Cyrus, who pressed his lips together.

“I’m back. Cy, your mom says you have to go out and buy more coffee beans when we go out today. Here, Jonah, I put an icecube in there to cool it down because you’re a little baby.” Buffy carefully handed a mug to Jonah and collapsed on the bed.

“Thank Buffy for Buffy.” Jonah mumbled as he took a sip, eyes closed and lips drawn into a smile.

“Is this good to send, Buff?” Cyrus tilted his phone toward Buffy, who read the text over the rim of her cup and nodded.

“Just say that humans are the worst, that’s a pretty wide-spread fact.” Cyrus made the addition, sucked in a shaky breath and hit send, throwing his phone to the end of the bed with a shout. 

8:48 AM  
Two things; one - I think you have the wrong number, I’m definitely not “Amb”, two - to answer your very important question, definitely. Humans are the worst.

The four sat still for a while, staring at the phone, waiting for a response.

“He said he was drunk, he probably has a major hangover right now,” Andi gathered the phone and tucked it into the pocket of Cyrus’s hoodie. “Let’s go do something fun. Please.” 

“If your idea of fun includes picking up some coffee beans for my mother then let’s roll out.” Cyrus straightened his posture and wiped his hands on his sweatshirt.

“I hate that you just said that. Let’s roll out. Ew.” Buffy scrunched up her nose and bumped her shoulder to Cyrus’s.

“I love it. Let’s roll out.”

-

By noon the four of them had gotten coffee beans for Leslie, along with several bags of various candies, stopped by Bex’s shop to raid her of nice smelling sampler lotions, and returned to Andi’s apartment to watch a thrilling episode of The Great British Baking Show. Cyrus was so invested in the baking that he didn’t notice his phone sounding off three notifications until he got up for a bathroom break.

11:58 AM  
Unknown Number  
shit man im so sorry i meant to text my sister but i guess i typed her number in wrong? i was waaaaasted last night really sorry if i woke you up or anything

11:59 AM  
Unknown Number  
u hella right tho ducks probably fuckin hate us

11:59 AM  
Unknown Number  
but we do give them food n stuff do u see my probem

“Guys! Three more texts!” Cyrus shouted from the bathroom, holding his phone tight to his chest. He heard muffled dialogue through the wall and then Buffy shout “Text that hoe back!”

“What do I write? Oh my gosh, Buffy, what do I write?!” With his hands washed, Cyrus rushed out of the bathroom to the front room and tossed his phone on the couch. Andi picked it up and threw it back at Cyrus, who yelped but caught it.

“Write anything, Mary and Paul are judging the final technical challenge.” Buffy muttered, eyes trained on the screen.

Cyrus huffed and curled up on the couch. 

12:02 PM  
Why don’t you have your sister’s number saved? Seems like one of the most logical numbers to save.

12:04 PM  
Unknown Number  
oh so your really about to expose mea like that

12:04 PM  
Unknown Number  
too much work tbh

12:05 PM  
*You’re. 

12:05 PM  
Too much work? Is it really more work than typing in a number every time you want to contact someone?

12:05 PM  
Unknown Number  
1 ouch 2 valid point

12:07 PM  
Unknown Number  
but hell no

When he looked up, Cyrus noticed he was subconsciously smiling. He dropped the smile and did his best to keep his face at least neutral.

12:08 PM  
How’d you get so drunk last night? Are you alright?

12:09 PM  
Unknown Number  
awww mystery person cares about me

12:09 PM  
Unknown Number  
how old even are you like 80 ?? ? why should i trust that sus shit

12:11 PM  
No I’d just consider myself a decent person. You don’t have to trust me, but why in the world should I trust you enough to tell you anything about myself? From what I can tell you don’t have autocorrect on, how untrustworthy is that?

12:12 PM  
Unknown Number  
but u just did you said u consiter yourdelf a decent person

12:14 PM  
Dang, you got me. A whole third of those words are spelled wrong though so guess I can’t read that.

12:14 PM  
Unknown Number  
i may suck at math, but from what i can see thats 2 of like 13 words spelled wrong

12:14 PM  
Unknown Number  
im 17 if it matters

12:15 PM  
It’s twelve words and four were spelled wrong, including those “u”s.

Cyrus stared at his screen for a long while, thinking hard about what to say next and even harder about why he hadn’t gotten a response for a while. This felt shady - why was this person still texting him anyway? 

Cyrus reread the messages over and over, pursing his lips and drawing his eyebrows together before slowly typing out three words and hitting send.

12:22 PM  
I’m sixteen. 

He was surprised to get an immediate response.

12:22 PM  
Unknown Number  
im also a dude named tj if that matters either if u wanna like save my number or anything

12:38 PM  
Okay. I’m Cyrus. If you’re seventeen how did you get blackout drunk last night?

12:38 PM  
TJ  
oh sweet gramorally corecct cyrus

12:39 PM  
TJ  
i wasnt balckout drunk i was about greyout drunk

12:39 PM  
TJ  
and THATS a story for when my whole bpdy doesnt feel like death


	2. consequences

TJ Kippen did not expect to wake up in his own bed to a message from a number far too close to Amber’s with a pounding headache on the last Tuesday before the start of junior year. 

When he pried his eyes open and rolled onto his back, all TJ could remember about the night before was that he was overwhelmed with anger and drunk out of his mind. He was so, so angry for a list of reasons longer than imaginable; set off in a panicked fury when he caught sight of the date, August 27. When he received an invitation from a senior on the basketball team to go to a party in a decently far away town he accepted right away.

He didn’t usually go to parties, and he definitely didn’t usually drink -- he hated the taste of beer and the burn of liquor -- but that night he put on his cool mean guy mask and drained solo cup after solo cup without hesitation. Soon enough his body felt static and the flaming feeling in his chest dulled to a flicker.

TJ had no idea how he got back to his house, or into his own pyjamas, or into his own bed, especially because Shadyside was so far away. He’d biked there, a distance worth two hours, but there was no way he biked all the way back.

Everything felt bad. His mouth was extremely dry and tasted like vomit, his limbs felt like lead, and his eyes, which still had contact lenses from yesterday in them, burned every time he blinked. He stared into nothingness for a while, squinting at the bottom of the top bunk.

TJ reached for his bedside table, blindly feeling for his phone, but instead knocking his knuckles against a tall glass of water and two capsules of aspirin by its side. He closed his eyes and prayed a small thank you to whichever of his two sisters did this for him, gladly gulping down half the glass and swallowing the pills.

He flinched when his bedroom door slammed open, head hitting the bedframe and making a loud bang that definitely did not help his headache. 

“Thelonius Jagger Kippen what the fuck is wrong with you?” His older sister, Winnie, demanded, her tone implying it was more of a furious statement than a question. “Amber wakes me up at 3:30 in the goddamn morning crying telling me that someone called her telling her you’re off somewhere in Shadyside passed out drunk and need to get out of this kid’s house before his parents get home in the morning.” Her voice was soaked in fury, venom spilling out of every word. 

TJ pulled himself into a sitting position and began to speak. “Win, I’m sor-”

“No. You don’t get to just say you’re sorry and be done with it when last night I drove two hours to Shadyside, Amber sobbing in the passenger seat, both of us having no clue as to if you’re safe or not.” TJ looked to the floor, his stomach dropping with guilt. He noticed Winnie holding Amber’s hand, Amber grasping onto her as if she were her life line. 

Winnie’s voice plummeted to a normal volume, her tone softening but intensity of her manner of speech remaining. “I love you so much, Teej, but you don’t ever get to do that. Not to me, not to Amber, not to anyone.”

He watched out of the corner of his eye as his two sisters shuffled to his bedside, Winnie kneeling down to meet his eye. He felt the end of the bed dip as Amber sat down near his feet. Winnie cupped TJ’s face in her hands, running her thumbs under his eyes to wipe away tears he didn’t know he’d shed.

“Love, why in the world would go all the way to Shadyside for some stupid party? I’m trying so hard to understand why you did that without telling anyone.” TJ let out a sob, shoulders shaking as he felt the warmth of Winnie’s hands leave his face and encircle him in a tight hug. He could feel Amber crawl up to him and lay her body over his, wrapping her arms around him and squeezing.

“I was so angry, Win. So fucking mad at stupid Mom and Dad for being so goddamn stupid and I’m just so- Ugh! I’m just so mad!” His stomach burned with guilt and anger, setting his chest ablaze with a familiar flame. Amber pushed her face hard into the crook of his neck and Winnie released her hug only to take TJ’s hands into hers and lift his chin. Her confidence demanded he look into her eyes, even with a small, sympathetic smile resting on her face.

“Hey mister, watch your fucking language.” He felt Amber huff out a wet laugh and lifted his arm to reach around her. “I know you’re mad, I know you are, and so am I, but TJ, it was fourteen years ago. Nothing could have stopped it. Plus now you have the coolest sister in the world instead of them. Our family with them could never ever amount to our family without them.”

The trio had bundled up into a pile of heavy limbs, tear soaked clothing, and frowning faces. Winnie was crying without sound, her eyes drawn shut and tense arms tight around TJ and Amber.

“I love you two. You’re my kids, no matter what.” Winnie ran her hands up and down their arms and snuggled her face into hair, her cheeks smushing into the tops of their heads. TJ lifted his face from the Winnie’s shoulder and looked at her with concern.

“Am I grounded?” Winnie and Amber let out short wet laughs that escalated to a fit of giggles. TJ smiled along with them, but still seemed to be genuinely concerned.

“No. I think that hangover will be bad enough that you’ll regret every decision you’ve ever made. I was an edgy teenager once too, you know.” Winnie forced her way out of the Kippen pile and climbed off the bed. TJ wanted time to pause just so he could just look at her. 

She was the perfect mix of their mom and dad, whereas Amber looked more like their father and TJ more like their mother. He stared at the waterfalls blonde hair cascading over her shoulders and the small moles that littered her skin. He turned to look at Amber, taking in the delicate dips of her face and the gentle golden shine of her hair and the blue of her eyes. He wanted to stare at them forever just so he could engrave the memory of them into his mind. Just so he could think of them every time he felt like he was losing control.

“Well, I think I’m going to make something to eat. I’ll make you my tried-and-true banana smoothie, Teej, it’ll help. I’ll make one for you too Amber, just ‘cause.” Winnie winked and blew a kiss to the two of them before exiting the room.

The moment Winnie was out of the door, TJ collapsed back onto his pillow, hand pressed over his sore eyes and Amber cuddled at his side.

“Drink the rest of the water.” Amber’s voice was silky smooth, alluring and sweet and just enough to motivate him to grab the glass with one hand, the other still over his eyes, and press the rim of the cup to his lips.

“Was that you who left this stuff out?” TJ asked, lips still against the cool glass. 

“Of course not. I was very tempted to leave you out to die, but Miss Winona over here insisted you be cared for.” 

“Gee, thanks, Amber.”

“Why didn’t you text me? Or call me? I was terrified”

“Didn’t I? I vaguely remember something about ducks.” TJ heard shuffling and felt weight across his chest. He assumed it was Amber reaching across him to grab his phone, so laid as still as he could and let her. Even if he countered her movements she would get to the phone somehow. Nothing in the Kippen home was secret. He peeked at her though his fingers and saw her eyebrows furrowed as she analyzed the screen.

“You dumbass. That’s not my number. You messed up the first three numbers -- there’s and there’s an 8 right there instead of a 0. Idiot. The person texted you back, though. Want me to read it to you?” Amber looked back over at him and he quickly covered up his eyes again.

“I don’t even remember what I said in the first place, give me the context first.” 

“Are you sure you want me to?” He could hear the smile in her voice. He nodded miserably.

“This is my punishment. Throw it at me.”

“Note: Almost every word of what I’m about to read is spelled wrong.” 

“Amber! Get it over with.” TJ whacked her arm with the back of his hand and she shoved him, giggling quietly.

“At 2:56 in the morning you said ‘If ducks could do you think they’d, idk, like, fucking curse us out? Like a lot? All the time?’ followed by ‘hey bitch face-” Amber let out a bark of laughter and needed a second to calm herself down. “Hey bitch face answer me I’m very drunk and asking a very important question’ and then finally ‘oh shit its 3 AM Amb, go to sleep sorry’. Jesus Christ TJ. That’s so rough.” The bed was shaking with Amber’s laughter. 

“Oh God. I’m the actual worst. What did the person say?” TJ pulled the bedsheets over his eyes and groaned as loudly as he could.

“They said, and I quote, ‘Two things; one - I think you have the wrong number, I’m definitely not “Amb”, two - to answer your very important question, definitely. Humans are the worst.’ With all proper grammar. Definitely one upped you there, Tommy boy.” TJ shoved the sheets down and grabbed his phone from her, prompting a small “Hey!” before she rammed into him with all her might. TJ toppled off the side of the bed, catching himself with his forearms.

“Oh my God, Amber you could’ve knocked my teeth out!” TJ pushed himself up off the floor and glared at his sister. She looked up from the phone she caught in the crossfire and raised her eyebrows.

“And I’m supposed to feel bad for you? You pushed me off our bunk bed and I broke my whole ass arm, TJ. What’s a few teeth?” TJ stood, hands pressed to the top of his head and eyes drawn closed. 

“Don’t text the person back yet. I have a plan.” They heard the whir of a blender from across the apartment and both smiled. TJ opened his eyes and sauntered toward his closet, pulling out the softest sweatshirt he could find and tugging it over his head. He looked into the mirror, glaring at his zombie-like reflection before pinching out his contact lenses and putting on his glasses. Amber picked herself up from the bed, leaving TJ’s phone tucked between the folds of the duvet. 

“Pfft. A plan? Is it any better than your plan to throw my Barbie phone in the pond to see if it’d still work?” She walked over to TJ, looking into his closet and grabbing a hoodie from his old competitive club basketball team. She pulled it over her arms, smiling at all the extra material. 

“Shut up, Amber, that was forever ago, plus it did still kinda work.” TJ picked up his phone and began to type, but Amber intercepted and grabbed the phone out of his hands.

“It shocked Winnie and she passed out.” She said, pointing the phone at him. 

“That’s because Win’s a little baby.” He snatched the phone as she waved it in his face, sticking out his tongue. 

“Oh? Guess someone’s not getting his smoothie then.” Winnie’s voice rang out from the doorway, TJ turned to find her balancing a plate of eggs, toast, and various fruits along with three glasses filled with banana smoothie and three forks clutched in her right hand. Amber ran to help her, catching two of the glasses just as Winnie began to lose grip of them.

“Nice one. Who ya textin’ TJ?” When all she got in response was a grunt, she turned to Amber, eyebrows raised. Amber stared at her, taking a long sip of her smoothie before speaking.

“No clue. TJ drunk texted someone last night about ducks when he meant to text me and now he’s in a sitch.” She set the glasses she was holding on TJ’s desk, carefully avoiding the disorganized stacks of summer homework. TJ’s phone made a swooshing send noise and he set it on the desktop, rubbing his hands together and grabbing the plate from Winnie. He carried it to his bed and set it on the nightstand next to him

“Ha. Karma’s a bitch or whatever.” Winnie laughed and stabbed a chunk of melon popping it in her mouth. TJ glared at her, piling eggs onto the corner of a slice of toast and taking a big bite. The thought of eating was nauseating but the taste of home cooked breakfast overtook that. 

“Wow, thank you parental figure.” He said through a full mouth. Winnie grimaced and made a vomiting gesture as she stabbed a wedge of apple. 

“Oh, they texted you back already. ‘Why don’t you have your sister’s number saved? Seems like one of the most logical numbers to save.’ I like whoever this is, they’re right.” Amber tossed the phone at TJ, laughing as he fumbled to catch it. 

“You don’t have Amber’s number saved?” Winnie questioned. TJ shrugged and took a bite of his toast as he typed out a response.

“I didn’t save yours either.” 

“You’re the worst. Save them right now, in case anything like this happens again, which it better not.” He hit send and nodded, doing just what she requested.

His phone chimed twice, TJ read the messages and clutched his chest, face scrunched up in fake pain.

“Ooh, ow, fuck. They corrected my trash grammar.”

“Tell them nothing will happen, I’ve done it my whole life and nadda.” Amber pointed out. TJ shook his head and kept typing. The sound of a straw sucking nothing at the bottom of a glass filled the room and Amber groaned. “Is there any extra, Win?” 

“Of course, check the fridge, I put the blender thing in there. Eat some fruit Teej.” Amber scampered out of the room, empty glass in hand. When TJ glanced up, he made direct eye contact with Winnie’s narrowed eyes. “You’re very smiley for someone who just partook in the conversation we just had.” TJ shrugged, cracking his knuckles out of habit.

“Yeah, I don’t know. This is kinda fun, texting this guy.”

“Guy?”

“Yeah his name is Cyrus, he’s 16.”

“TJ Kippen, you told him how old you are?” Winnie thwacked his shoulder with her fork, mouth slightly agape.

“Yeah, it’s not a big deal.” TJ grabbed the fork and scooped some more eggs into his mouth.

“Uh, it’s definitely a big deal. Number one rule of the world wide web. What if he’s actually a stinky old gross serial killer who’s just acting like a kid?” Winnie tugged the phone from his hand, scanning the messages before handing the phone back to him.

“High risk, high reward?” TJ smiled cautiously at his older sister, who looked at him with a very suspicious look in her eyes.

“And the reward would be…”

“No fucking clue.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bruh i hope winnie isnt a mary sue lmao


	3. day one

On the first day of school Cyrus woke up to the first ring of his alarm, pumped himself up in the mirror for half an hour, checked he had his new schedule three times, and ducked into his car, backpack full of fresh school supplies and a thermos of hot chocolate in hand. 

As he pulled to the curb in front of Andi’s apartment, Cyrus saw his phone light up from the center console, smiling when he saw the sender of the message. 

7:32 AM  
TJ :3  
fuck

7:32 AM  
TJ :3  
im really thinkin bout sticking my whole head in a pot of boiling water right abut now

Cyrus had been texting TJ constantly every day for a little under a week and caught himself checking his phone much more often than he ever had before. He’d stayed up late, texting away with the guy talking about anything and everything. He occupied so much of his final days of summer that the GHC threatened to take away his phone. In such a short amount of time, constant contact with TJ became part of Cyrus’s routine.

7:33 AM  
Aw, but that’d ruin your gorgeous handsome beautiful face!

They did that a lot, make comments about each others appearances despite knowing nothing about the other. Neither of them had made a move to actually send pictures of themselves, only half fried memes and cute animals. 

7:33 AM  
TJ :3  
shit youre right i guess my hand will have to do

7:34 AM  
Throw some salt in there, it makes the water boil faster. You wouldn’t want to be late to school :3.”

7:34 AM  
TJ :3  
i still cant beleive you use propper punctuashin with emojis 

7:34 AM  
especially THAT emoji

7:35 AM  
TJ :3  
and theyr not even real emojis theyre fake emojis

7:35 AM  
TJ :3  
emojae? emojii? emojees??? 

7:36 AM  
False Gods tell no lies.

7:36 AM  
TJ :3  
that sounds super sick but doesnt even make any sense at all cyrus

7:37 AM  
TJ :3  
tts way to early for this i think im dying

7:38 AM  
You think you’re dying every five seconds, cool it or you might actually die.

7:38 AM  
TJ :3  
no

7:39 AM  
TJ :3  
im going to die and youll never get to see my gorgeous face

7:40 AM  
And you’ll never see mine. 

7:40 AM  
Tragic :’(.

Cyrus heard the passenger door being pulled open and snapped his head to see Andi angrily shoving her backpack in the car, punching it to the floor.

“I’m really not doing fantastic on this nightmare of a morning.” She collapsed into the seat, slamming a hydro flask into the cupholder and crossing her arms. 

“Merry first day of school! You’re not one to routinely drink water, what’s in the bottle?” Cyrus put the car into drive and pulled away from the curb, starting the route to Buffy’s house like it was second nature.

“Vodka.” Cyrus gave her a look. “Very very strong but watered down and gross black coffee courtesy of my disaster father. It’s nasty but that’s what I get for not waking up on time.” Andi set her water bottle onto her lap, carefully unscrewing the top and taking a long sip. She pulled the bottle away from her mouth, grimaced and shivered, making a bleh sound and putting the top back on.

“Stop being so smiley. Today is the beginning of my year long downfall.” Andi said, a razor sharp glare accompanying her words. Cyrus forced himself to stop smiling, flicking on his left blinker and pulling into Buffy’s driveway.

“I’m not being smiley.” Cyrus knocked his knuckles on the bottom of the steering wheel and made a pouty face at Andi, pointing at his frown. She rolled her eyes and slapped his hand.

“Yes you are.”

“Am not.” 

Buffy pulled open the back car door behind Cyrus with a blanket bundled in her arms and launched her backpack to the other end of the row of seats. “Fuck this stupid town. Why is it so cold? It’s September and yet I can’t feel my fingers.” 

Andi lifted her hydro flask toward Buffy, raising her eyebrows. “A sip of Bowie’s vantablack coffee?” Buffy accepted and gulped down a few mouthfuls, sticking her tongue out she handed it back to Andi.

“You know, it’s pretty ironic that I’m driving you guys. It’s a universal fact that gays can’t drive, but here we are.” Cyrus pulled out of the driveway, narrowly avoiding the Driscoll mailbox. Andi guffawed and hit his upper arm with her bottle. 

“Oh my God Cyrus!” He grinned at her and crossed the road, pulling into Jonah’s driveway.

“I still don’t get why Jonah doesn’t just cross the street and wait for you with me.” Buffy rustled through her backpack, pulling out a box of gum and popping a piece in her mouth. All three watched as Jonah stumbled out of his front door, his moms peeking out and waving after him. Buffy leaned across the seat and pushed open the door for him.

“Mornin’ guys, my moms made us some pumpkin bread. With chocolate chips.” Jonah set a tupperware box on the center console and slumped into the seat, resting his backpack in his lap.

“Hell yeah! Cyrus let me roll down my window right now.” Cyrus obliged Buffy’s instructions and unlocked the windows, letting her roll hers down and stick her face out, waving frantically at the couple standing in the doorway. “Thank you Mrs. and Mrs. Beck! I love you!” The women both laughed, arms lovingly resting on each other’s waists. Cyrus waved at them and backed out of the driveway, mouth stuffed with pumpkin bread.

The drive to the high school was short, they all lived within walking distance, but Cyrus’s dad bought a parking spot for the semester and none of them wanted to let it go to waste. Every slice of pumpkin bread was gone before Cyrus arrived at the nearest stoplight. Andi plugged her phone into the aux cord and scrolled through her list of saved songs on spotify before settling on a soft indie song Cyrus and Buffy had never heard before, but Jonah surprisingly recognized. 

“I can feel your judginess from a mile away, Buffy. Kick it down a notch and think about the fact that Andi and I dated.” Jonah pointed out as Buffy threw her head back, covering her face with her hands, glaring through her fingers. 

“Oh God, don’t remind me.” Buffy muttered, solumny shaking her head.

“No offence, Andi-man, but worst year of my life.” Jonah hugged his backpack to his chest, resting his chin on the top of the bag.

“Same. We were such a dramatic mess.” Andi snapped the lid of the now empty tupperware and tossed it back at Jonah, accidentally hitting him square in the face. 

“Ow, Andi. You did make me some pretty dope stuff though.” He rubbed his nose with one hand, shoving the container into the outermost pocket of his backpack with the other.

“I still do. Speaking of dating… Cyrus, how’s your mystery man?” Andi grinned at her friend, sending him a quick wink. He rolled his eyes, pulling into the school parking lot and searching for his number, spot #44.

“Oh Jeez, Andi. We are so far away from dating, we’re barely even friends. I think. Besides, I don’t even like him like that. He’s not my mystery man either, his name’s TJ. He’s okay, though. His school starts again today too, he said he was thinking about putting his face in a pot of boiling water.” Andi narrowed her eyes at him.

“You’re rambling.” Buffy interjected from the back seat.

“No I am definitely not. Just- shut up, I’m trying to park.” Cyrus purposely hit the breaks a little too harshly to jostle around Buffy, who didn’t put on her seat belt. She cried out, catching herself on the back of Cyrus’s seat. He smoothly pulled into the parking spot and turned off the engine, leaving Andi’s obscure, but pretty music playing.

“Not cool.” Buffy flicked the back of Cyrus’s head. He waved his hand dismissively at her and picked up his phone from where he left it.

7:41 AM  
TJ :3  
it really is :(

7:41 AM  
TJ :3  
should we like actually send pics of eachother

7:48 AM  
TJ :3  
hah a we really dont have to if u dont want to that was p dumb ha

7:52 AM  
TJ :3  
yeah ignore that im full of stupid ideas and tgat was one of then

7:56 AM  
I’m so sorry! I was picking up all my friends to drive to school and wasn’t looking at my phone! That’s not a stupid idea at all, I’ll rifle through my camera roll after school and find something good.

7:56 AM  
TJ :3  
oh

7:57 AM  
TJ :3  
yeah thats chill ill do the same

7:57 AM  
TJ :3  
asjhdkjhd my teacher just walked in and shes wearing clout goggles i gtg 

7:58 AM  
Have a good first day TJ, I hope all your classes go well.

7:58 AM  
TJ :3  
u too cy, ill text you soon *kissy face emoji*

7:59 AM  
Why won’t you just use the emoji instead of writing it out like that???

8:00 AM  
false gods tell no lies cy

“Why in the world are you smiling so big, Goodman?” Andi leaned over, her elbow propped on the console, Buffy and Jonah reading his texts over his shoulder. He clicked off his phone and turned it over in his lap, nudging his friends away.

“It’s nothing, you nosy bodies. I’m just... happy it’s school season?” Cyrus twisted to grab his backpack, which he had put into the back seat and gave Buffy an innocent smile.

“You are such a bad liar. You hate school and the only reason you go on your phone is to text us, the people in this car, none of whom are texting you.” Buffy looked at him with her classic I beat you face on.

“Fine. It’s TJ.” Cyrus’s lips rose into a cautious smile. “It sounds stupid but we’re sending each other pictures of ourselves later today.” Cyrus was full on grinning now, Andi pinched his cheeks and ruffled his hair.

“Aw! Creepy.” Buffy reached around the headrest and gently slapped Cyrus’s cheeks.

“Aw! Get out of my car.” Cyrus unlocked the doors, completely turning off the car and looking at his friends. “It’s the first day of junior year. I definitely don’t want to spend the whole time being bullied by my own friends.” Buffy held up her hands in surrender and nodded.

“Fair enough.” She glanced down at her phone and frowned. “School starts in 10 minutes, let’s get going.”

-

“I’m so mad Buffy’s not in our lunch period this year.” Andi, Jonah, and Cyrus were walking toward the cafeteria shoulder to shoulder, Andi linking arms with Cyrus. 

“We’re too powerful when we’re all together, this is the universe restraining us.” Cyrus pulled away from Andi, setting the items he was holding in his arms on the four person table they’d been sitting at since they were freshmen. 

“Damn the universe.” Jonah muttered. He slung his backpack off his shoulders and onto one of the chairs. “I’m buying lunch, either of you coming?” 

“Yeah, hold on, I gotta find my ID.” Andi said, rustling through her bag.

“I packed a lunch, but can you get me a muffin?” Cyrus lowered himself into one of the chairs and pulled his phone out of his pocket, setting it on the table.

“Fine. Chocolate chocolate chip?” Joah stuck out his hand, gesturing for money.

“You know me so well, my dear Jonah Beck.” Cyrus slapped a five dollar bill into his hand and grinned at him. Jonah rolled his eyes and nodded with a smile, turning to walk toward the lunch line. From next to him, Cyrus heard Andi mumble “Aha!” and hold her wallet up triumphantly, jogging to catch up with Jonah. 

Cyrus set his lunchbox on the table, opting to leave it closed for now in favor of unlocking his phone and heading to his messages.

11:58 AM  
You’re probably busy working away in your classes, but I have lunch right now and just wanted to drop in. I hope you’re having a good first day so far! 

Cyrus’s first day back wasn’t welcoming, to say the least. Every morning class he had was solo, none of his friends were in them and he was left sitting in the corner and avoiding unnecessary eye contact during awkward icebreakers. He knew of everyone in his classes, he had spent his whole life in school with them, but none of them made an effort to be friends with Cyrus, and by extension he didn’t try to be friends with them either, only acquainted.

His first class was Calculus, taught by an old woman too absorbed in herself to realize her students were people. A fun way to start the day. His next three periods were all taught by teachers who were just old enough that when they said “lit” and “lol” it would physically hurt Cyrus. He finally had lunch, time to relax with his friends and rant about how his day was so far and he couldn’t even fully do that, Buffy didn’t share their lunch period. 

12:02 PM  
TJ :3  
oh my god cyrus tysm this is everything ive ever needed

12:02 PM  
TJ :3  
today has been chaotic

12:03 PM  
TJ :3  
im walking to my anatomy class and someone just hurdled over me

12:04 PM  
TJ :3  
im 5’ 9 and growing and they jumped over my WHOLE ASS BODY STANDING like they was a fucking gazelle or something????????

12:04 PM  
TJ :3  
explain how that even fucking works i am

12:04 PM  
TJ :3  
SHAKING

12:04 PM  
TJ :3  
in my boots

12:05 PM  
Terrifying but somehow still sounds better than my day so far, be grateful.

12:05 PM  
TJ :3  
:( tell me ab it after school my teccher just walked in and is gonna take a way my ph

12:09 PM  
RIP TJ, he will forever misspell words in our hearts.

“Here, Cyrus.” Jonah set Cyrus’s promised muffin, along with change, in front of him, pulling out a chair and settling into it. Andi sat down too, busying herself with putting her wallet away.

“Thank you so very much, my good sir.” Cyrus tore a chunk off the top and set a napkin in front of Jonah, putting the piece of muffin on it. “The Jonah Tax.”

“What about the Andi tax?” Andi snuck her hand under Cyrus’s arm and grabbed the muffin, pulling off a decent sized piece off and popping it in her mouth. Cyrus frowned at her and pulled his muffin back towards himself.

“More like the Andi embezzlement fund.” She stuck her tongue out at him and lifted her sandwich to her mouth before catching Jonah pouring chocolate milk into his mouth out of the corner of her eye. 

“Jonah! How many times do we have to tell you to stop consuming dairy? I swear, one of these days you’re gonna die.” Jonah screwed the cap back onto the bottle and shrugged. 

“If I die, I die.” Andi snatched the bottle out of his hands and tossed it into the nearest trash can.

Cyrus smiled and rested his chin on his hand. “What do you guys think Buffy would do if she were here right now?” Andi scoffed and pulled a french fry in two.

“She’d probably be ranting about that guy who she got into a fight with at Marty’s party last monday.” She popped half of the fry into her mouth and handed the other half to Cyrus.

“I don’t know if she’ll ever stop talking about that guy. Anyways, I’ve narrowed it down to four pictures of myself I like enough send to TJ, I need your opinions.” Cyrus slid the phone across the table, pointing out four pictures on his instagram feed. They looked for a minute, scrolling up and down and speaking lowly to each other before nodding.

“Definitely the one where you’re in that field sitting on a backwards chair and you’re all smiley, I think that one’s super cute.” Andi tapped the picture and zoomed in on his face. “So cute.” She smiled and pushed the phone back towards Cyrus.

“Yeah, no way you can choose the group pictures.” Jonah agreed, scooting in and stealing some more muffin.

“What? Why?” Cyrus whined, taking his phone into his hands and zooming in and out on his face. 

“They’re good pictures, Cy, but all the other people take the attention away from you.” Andi leaned over and pointed at one of the pictures. “You’re not even in the center of any of them, he won’t focus on you, he’ll focus on someone else and think you’re them.” She raised her eyebrows.

“Fine. I guess you’re right.” Cyrus stared at the picture for a moment longer. “I do look pretty good in this one.”

-

By the time Cyrus dropped everyone off at their houses, arrived back at his dad’s house, and gotten up to his room, he had nearly forgotten about sending anything that wasn’t a rant about his day to TJ.

Cyrus shuffled to his bed, collapsing on it and curling into a little ball, holding his phone inches away from his face and tapping on his messages app. His heart flipped out of his chest when he saw a new text from TJ.

3:32 PM  
TJ :3  
lmk when u get home so we can send the pics or w/e

3:33 PM  
TJ :3  
are we making a big deal out of this for no reason

3:46 PM  
Maybe we are, but who cares. I’m home now, ready whenever you are. 

3:47 PM  
TJ :3  
ok thats chill

3:47 PM  
TJ :3  
well heres me  
(the pic of Luke w the flowers You know the one it’s so extremely blessed) 

The fluttering feeling in Cyrus’s chest swooped into his stomach and sent a tingling feeling through his body. In that moment, Cyrus doubted he’d ever seen a human being so gorgeous. He screenshotted the picture and sent it to Andi, making sure to send it with as many exclamation points and Cyrus level expletives he could. He switched chats and tapped the picture, smiling cheekily at it.

The person in that picture did not look like the type to go out on a Monday night and get so drunk he couldn’t remember who he was; he looked like someone who would stay in on a Monday night and watch movies cuddled up under a pile of fuzzy blankets.

3:39 PM  
:O!! You actually are super handsome!!!

3:39 PM  
TJ :3  
did you think i wouldnt be??

3:40 PM  
Of course not! I just didnt expect you to look like that.

3:40 PM  
TJ :3  
wow im so handsome you forgot the apostraphy in didnt

3:41 PM  
TJ :3  
actually i cant tell if that was an insult or not

3:41 PM  
No! It was a compliment, sorry I said it weird.

3:42 PM  
TJ :3  
ok ok ok but u gotta send your pic now

3:43 PM  
Fine. Here I am :).  
(the pic Andi described, its on josh’s insta check it out its also blessed bc he was going to a BETO RALLY HELL YEAH)

Cyrus no longer felt fluttery, he felt jittery and like he was going to throw up in the next ten seconds. Ten seconds passed, then a minute, then five. At the twelve minute mark, Cyrus was just about ready to pack his bags and move to Antarctica to live among the penguins, where we would never have to make human contact again. 

3:51 PM  
TJ :3  
im seriously doubting youre a real human person bc whatever is in that pic is too perfect to be true

3:51 PM  
No, it’s me! Last I checked I’m a real human person.

3:52 PM  
TJ :3  
STARTING TO THINK UR A 80 YEAR OLD PEDO RN

3:53 PM  
I’m not!!!!!!!!

3:53 PM  
TJ :3  
prove it!!!!!!!

3:53 PM  
How??

3:54 PM  
TJ :3  
facetime me???

3:54 PM  
Fine >:(.

Out of some kind of friendly spite, Cyrus tapped the video call button but immediately regretted it when the call screen blinked away and the face he saw in the picture filled the screen. His heart leapt out of his chest, all he could hear was the wild thumping of his heart.

“Hey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> B^)


	4. big news

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bruv

“Hey.”

After the call screen blinked away, TJ watched as a face he had only just begun to correlate with Cyrus filled the screen. 

The boy’s eyes were wide and before TJ could speak again, a frenzy of blurry shapes took over the screen and a couple of thuds sounded from the other end. After a moment the camera was stationary, displaying a blank creme colored ceiling. TJ blinked as he tried to process the scene. He’d been thrown to the floor.

TJ furrowed his brows and rolled from his back onto his stomach, propping himself up on his elbows. “Bitch.” 

Cyrus’s head popped into the frame. “Oh my goodness! I’m so sorry!” A pair of hands stretched down and pulled the phone up, centering on Cyrus’s guilty smile.

“That was so fucking rude?” TJ tried to sound angry, but a grin crept its way onto his face.

“I am-” The camera shook and a giggling Cyrus tucked his head into the crook of his elbow. “I’m so sorry.” He looked up at TJ, the bottom half of his face still hidden behind a sweater clad arm.

“You threw me on the floor!” TJ accused in faux exasperation. Cyrus hid his face again and laughed.

“It was my fight or flight response!” His voice was muffled and TJ was hit with the sudden realization that he loved everything about the way Cyrus sounded. He screwed his eyes shut and gasped.

“Am I that hideous?” 

Cyrus let go of his phone, letting it lean back and shake as he laughed. A tuft of dark brown hair stuck out in the corner of the screen along with Cyrus’s hand waving in objection. “No! I swear you’re not!”

TJ set his chin in the palm of his hand, gentle eyes watching the shaking screen. Though his voice was slightly tinny over the face call, the sound of Cyrus’s voice completely destroyed anything that resembled a wall between them. TJ pressed his lips together and sighed dramatically.

“Are you good now?”

“Yes.” Cyrus let out a long exhale, his mouth in a small O and his eyes closed. “I’m good now.” He looked up at TJ. The two sat silently, eyes tracing each others silhouettes. 

TJ tried as hard as he possibly could to ignore the burning feeling of being under a stranger’s gaze, and soon enough it was completely gone. The crackling silence between them was still and only the slightest bit uncomfortable as it stretched on.

“Hi.” TJ said gently, careful to keep his voice soft.

“Hi.” Cyrus’s tone mirrored TJ’s, as if they were talking to easily frightened animals.

TJ shifted his sitting position again, pushing himself into a criss-cross-applesauce sit and smiling at the screen.

“So, tell me about why your first day back was such a disaster.”

From then on, TJ was rarely not on his phone. Whether he was sending Cyrus pictures of Amber doing something dumb or facetiming Cyrus in the middle of the night just to listen to his voice, TJ was, without self proclamation, glued to his phone. 

On Halloween night, Amber convinced TJ to dress up with her as Ryan and Sharpay from High School Musical and send Cyrus a picture of them in a dorky pose. Cyrus returned the favor by sending a picture of him and three of his friends dressed as the teenage mutant ninja turtles.

The last day of school before Thanksgiving break, Amber and TJ rode their bikes home from school together, only threatening to push each other off once or twice. It was getting very cold in Willow Glen, Amber had even stolen Win’s pair of Uggs they swore they’d never wear again. TJ made fun of her every time he saw her in the hallway. While they were locking up their bikes and cautiously eyeing the darkening sky, Amber nudged TJ gently.

“Hey TJ,” Amber began cautiously. “Can I tell you something?” TJ listened for the bike lock to click and dropped it, letting it clank against the metal of the bike rack. He swung his backpack over his shoulder and looked at her skeptically. Amber was never the type to ask, she would just do.

“Go for it.” He started for the entrance to the apartment building, but turned to find Amber completely still, her blonde hair flowing in waves around her under the angry gray of a rumbling sky. Seeing her standing there, her face set firmly with the shadows of a towering oak tree painted over her, threw TJ into a reality where everything felt slightly off. Nothing was particularly bad, just different.

Amber pulled the sleeves of her cardigan over her finger tips and pursed her lips. “I think I like girls.” She stated with determination. 

“Cool.” TJ gave her a thumbs up and turned, feeling around his backpack for the keys to their apartment. He pushed the lobby door open, holding it open for Amber.

Her face was all scrunched up. “That’s it?” 

Amber pushed past TJ and offered a quick hello to the concierge on shift, heading straight for the elevator. TJ jogged to reach up with her and shrugged when she caught his eye. 

“I mean, I had a pretty good idea when you told me you’d willingly let Zendaya throw you off a roof after we watched The Greatest Showman last year.” TJ patted Amber’s shoulder and reached for the elevator button.

“Huh. I thought that was a universal feeling.” The elevator dinged and they entered, not without racing to press the button of their floor. Amber got it first and grinned obnoxiously at a scowling TJ. They rode up to their floor in a comfortable quiet, the only sound a soft buzz from the overhead light that never went away.

TJ took a long look at Amber, watching as the tension in her features built each moment the silence echoed on. Coming out was scary, that was the whole reason he hadn’t done it yet. If he was in her situation he’d want any reassurance possible.

TJ slung his arm around Amber’s shoulders and drew her close. “If it’s any help, boys are pretty dope in my opinion.” Amber pushed away from him and narrowed her eyes in confusion. The elevator dinged and the doors pushed themselves open. 

“You could have come out to me with any other words in the world, TJ.” She ducked under his arm and placed her hands on his back, pushing him out of the elevator.

TJ laughed and swiped behind himself at her arms. “What? Aren’t you going to tell me you support me and will love me forever.” TJ questioned. Amber slapped his back and he grimaced, stopping in front of their door.

“You already know that, dipshit, but if you really gotta hear it,” Amber said, pulling TJ to face her and dropping to her knees. She took TJ’s hands into hers, pulling them to her chest. “My dearest most glorious beautiful perfect amazing TJ, I will love and support you forever and ever and ever.” Amber was fantastic at acting, when she really wanted to be, but then and there TJ would debate that moment was 1,000 times better than any other performance she put on.

TJ pulled his hands from her and cleared his throat, dramatically sticking out one arm and tucking the other behind his back. Using his key to their apartment as a sword, TJ tapped each of Ambers shoulders and then the top of her head. “With the power vested in me by gay icon miss Jepsen herself, I now declare you a valid flaming lesbian.” TJ gently tapped Amber’s cheeks with the backs of his hands and nodded.

Amber rolled her eyes, every joint in her body cracking as she rose to her feet.

“You just came out to me.” She nudged his foot with hers as he unlocked the door.

“Yep. And you just came out to me.” TJ pushed open the door and threw his bag to the side, kicking off his shoes and dodging Amber’s as she did the same. 

“Oh shit. What are we gonna tell Winnie?” Amber set her backpack on the couch and wove her way around TJ into the kitchen.

“We tell Winnie whatever we want whenever we want. It’s our choice.” TJ collapsed on the couch and sighed, startling when he felt his phone buzz in his back pocket. Tugging it out, TJ fully expected the caller to be someone from the basketball team or a classmate, so he was a little more than shocked to see Cyrus’s caller ID.

“Amber shut up!” TJ shouted, hopping to his feet and walking briskly to he and Amber’s shared room.

“Wh- I wasn’t talking?” She entered the room after him, a cup of dry cheerios in hand. TJ waved her off and shushed her, sliding to answer the voice call.

“Cy-guy! What’s up?” Amber pouted and collapsed on the bottom bunk. Bunk beds were fun when they were six but as they got older and lazier they just fought over who got bottom. Usually it ended up being both.

“Hey. Sorry for calling so randomly - I’m just sorta bored and you tend to fix that.” The tinny audio of Cyrus’s voice never failed to catch TJ off guard.

“Oh. Oh! Yeah. Totally.” TJ felt self-conscious out of nowhere. Cyrus was a TJ thing, so being under his sister’s very judgemental, very knowing eye set his nerves on fire.

“So? Tell me about your day! How do you think you did on your math test? I’m putting you on speaker by the way, I’m doing some math homework.”

“I’m pretty sure I bombed it. Also, what the fuck? You can multitask like that?” Clambering onto the top bunk, TJ swung his legs over the side. Amber smacked his feet and he pulled them to his chest, popping a quick middle finger over the bunks’ edge.

“I mean, yeah. A lot of people can. But hey, I bet you did fine on your test.” TJ could practically see the one shouldered shrug in Cyrus’s voice.

“Damn. That’s pretty sicko mode of you.” TJ heard Amber mutter ew and crunch on some cheerios.

“What? What was that sentence you just said to me?” Cyrus floundered. TJ cradled his phone to the side of his head and laughed.

“I said that was pretty sicko mode of you.” 

“I’m disgusted on so many levels.” TJ heard the apartment door unlocking and the sound of keys being tossed aside. 

“TJ, Amber? Family meeting.” Winona’s voice rang out from across the apartment. TJ furrowed his eyebrows, sitting up and glancing at the doorway. Winnie never called family meetings. 

“I’m gonna have to call you later, Cy.” Amber stood and sent TJ a confused look before heading out of their room.

“Oh, okay. Let me know how your math test went when you get the grade back!” A thread of guilt laced through TJ’s body when he picked up what he thought to be a tinge of disappointment in Cyrus’s voice.

“For sure. Later underdog.” TJ pulled the phone away, tapping the red button and staring at the blank screen. He gently set his phone on the night stand and stood, stretching his arms high above his head and cracking his knuckles. 

“TJ! Kitchen please.” Winnie’s voice was always sturdy, but in that moment her tone wavered and faltered. TJ’s stomach swooped without warning when he poked out of his room and into the kitchen.

Winona stood solemnly, her shoulders drooping and elbows supporting herself on the countertop. To the untrained eye she looked alright, but to anyone who knew her, the trails pushed into her hair by weary hands sweeping it back countless times were enough to set off a red light. Generally, Winona Kippen was a put together person, anything that suggested she wasn’t whole had the potential to be an alarm in the twin’s minds.

“Something-” Winona raised her thumb to her lips, biting on her nail. TJ and Amber exchanged a glance, they both knew that was a sure sign of Worried Winnie. “Something happened at work today. Principal Jaramillo requested I don’t return after break.”

“What? Winnie what happened?” Amber was sitting on the couch with her legs crossed, but launched herself up at Winnie’s words.

“I’m not sure exactly what caused it, but huge budget cuts in the art department wiped out half the creative staff at Willow Glen.” Winona shrugged and ran a hand through her hair. TJ cautiously approached her side and took her hand, running the pad of his thumb across her knuckles.

“Jaramillo can’t do that, you’re everyone’s favorite art teacher!” Amber was furious, the ferocity of her voice quickly ballooning and filling every part of the room. Winnie sighed and rubbed the heel of her hand into her eyes then dropping it and sandwiching TJ’s hand between hers.

“Also the most controversial. Parents don’t exactly love it when I distract their golden athletes with the arts.” Amber scoffed and crossed her arms.

“That’s not fair at all! How are we supposed to go back to school and look at that guy knowing he fired you?” Amber exasperated, narrowed eyes looking at TJ to back her up. He shrugged helplessly and Amber rolled her eyes.

Winnie held out one arm, letting Amber huff and saunter to her side, wrapping her in a big hug. Placing her chin on the top of Amber’s head, Winnie ran her hand up and down her arm. “Well, here’s the good news - there’s actually a position open at Shadyside’s Grant High School, I sent them my resume this afternoon.”

“That’s, like, two hours away! You can’t drive there everyday.”

“If I’m accepted, I was thinking about looking into some apartments. If you two don’t mind leaving this place behind, maybe we can get a fresh start in Shadyside?”

TJ pursed his lips. Nothing was really keeping him in Willow Glen, the school basketball team sucked and there were no good inexpensive club teams nearby. The guys who he was friends with were a bunch of asshole wannabe stoners who stole their parents’ guns for fun. TJ nodded. “Okay.”

“Amber? What about your friends? And student council?” Winnie questioned. Amber let go of her tight hug and collapsed back onto the couch. She shrugged.

“That’ll all be in Shadyside. We need to do what’s best for us. If you get the job, Winnie, that will be best for us.” Winona let out a shaky breath and put on her strong big sister smile.

“Well then. For now I still have the mixology gig on the weekends, but I think you two might have to start looking for some jobs...” She poked TJ’s side and grinned when he swatted her hand away.

TJ shuffled to the couch, pushing himself into Amber’s side. She grumbled in annoyance but pressed her body against his anyways.

“Sure, Win. We’ll make dinner tonight too, don’t worry about that.” TJ gave a half hearted thumbs up and Amber mirrored him. Winnie nodded and made her way around the couch toward her room, pressing a kiss on the top of each of their heads before slipping inside. 

When Winona closed her bedroom door and they were sure she couldn’t hear them, the twins took each others hands and curled up at each other's side.

“Let’s not tell her today.” Amber murmured, chin quivering.

“Not today.” TJ spoke.

-

After five weeks of attending Willow Glen High School with the occasional talk from principal Jaramillo trying to explain the “delicate situation” he was “so very sorry about”, TJ was just about ready to take the steps toward getting himself expelled. 

TJ was spread across the couch, staring at the bumps and grooves of their ceiling as Amber recited her speech for APUSH when they heard the front door jiggle. The knob wiggled as if whoever was trying to get in kept missing the keyhole. Suddenly the door burst open. 

“Kids! Where are you?” Winnie, still wearing an apron bearing the neon logo of the bar she worked at, stumbled into the apartment.

“To your right.” Amber set her speech notes on the coffee table and sat on the arm of the couch.

Winnie stood in the doorframe, her tall figure filling it and her excitement seeping into the air.

“I got it.” When she was faced with silence, Winnie stuck her hands out and bounced on her toes. “I got the job!”

Amber shrieked and sprinted at Winnie, slamming into her and plummeting to the floor in a bear hug. 

TJ stood and rolled his eyes at his giggling pair of sisters engulfed in a tight hug on the living room floor.

“I guess we’re moving to Shadyside.”

He jumped on top of them and joined the hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> forgive me for mistakes in grammar is dumbass szn B) tell me all about it on my tumblr @millabloop i do like interacting despite common belief


	5. festive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***italicized dialogue means it's "said" in sign language

It was December 20th and Cyrus felt like he was dying.

For him, December was a period of non-stop effort for a month straight. It began with his family’s celebration of Hanukkah, which was fantastic but drained his bank account and caused him probably unnecessary stress about people’s reactions to the gifts he gave them.

On the sixth night it snowed in Shadyside for the first time that year. Jonah and Andi came over and built a snow fort in his dad’s front yard while Cyrus stocked up on snowballs to attack Buffy with when she got there. When she arrived, she came bearing several gift boxes and a boy named Marty. Cyrus and Andi excused themselves for a minute and silently freaked out until they could feel their throats become hoarse. They all huddled around the fire and drank hot chocolate (sans Jonah) while Cyrus and his dad lit the menorah together. 

TJ called him that night and said he wished they could meet in person. Cyrus agreed.

With the end of Hanukkah came the beginning of finals. Teachers frantically tried to cram as much last minute information into the week of December 10th, causing Cyrus and half the student body’s anxiety to skyrocket. He spent all his time studying and stressing about his GPA and if colleges would accept him (even though he had a 4.0). On top of it all, he was coming down with a nasty cold. That led him to the 20th of December, the last day of finals.

“Cyrus, stop freaking out. We all know you’re gonna get an A on your physics final, you knew half that stuff before Mrs. Boyd even explained it.” Buffy groaned, flipping through a stack of flashcards.

“That doesn’t make it any less stressful!” Cyrus shoved a handful of white cheddar popcorn into his mouth and scanned his notes for the hundredth time. The cafeteria was bustling with activity and Cyrus thought his head might burst.

“It’s your last final, Cy, just get it done and be glad it’s all over.” Pulling Cyrus’s physics binder toward her, Andi flipped through his notes, stopping on a page and pointing at its contents. “What the fuck is that?” Cyrus leaned over and skimmed the page.

“Centripetal force.” He said confidently and leaned back in his chair. “Boyd said it’d be pretty big on the final.”

Andi sucked in a sharp breath. “ _ That’s _ what I forgot to study. Yikes.”

Buffy frowned. “When did you take it?”

“Yesterday. 5th period.” Andi covered her face with her hands, screamed into them and calmly set them on the table. “I’m fine.” A backpack crashed onto the table, startling the group.

“Morning guys, I just bombed my AP lang final.” Jonah Beck slumped into an open chair, throwing a peace sign and only looking half dead. Buffy tossed her sticky note littered copy of the Great Gatsby at him.

“Didn’t we all.” Buffy said with a scowl. Jonah picked up the book and began flipping through the annotations.

“Buffy, these all just say ‘eat ass get rich’.” A confused smile spread across Jonah’s face.

“I know! That’s why I failed.” 

“I mean, the annotations aren’t… wrong?” Andi shrugged and sipped her juice box.

“I can’t believe I’m the one that has to say this,” Jonah held the book up and waved it at his side. “Gatsby did  _ not _ eat ass to get rich, he-” Half way through his sentence, a pair of arms wrapped around Jonah’s torso and a head of dirty blonde hair popped up from behind him.

“Libby!” Jonah’s face lit up at the sight of her and he pressed a firm kiss on her cheek. She waved a quick hello and sat down next to Jonah.

“ _ You two are so cute I am going to cry.” _ Andi signed and wiped under her eyes for dramatic effect. Libby stuck her tongue out. 

“ _ I’m already crying.”  _ Cyrus countered with a sniffle. 

Buffy rolled her eyes and lifted her hands to sign. “ _ You’re just sick. _ ”

“ _ Not relevant _ .” Buffy and Cyrus glared playfully at each other. 

“ _Libby, what do you think Gatsby did to get rich?_ ” Andi spoke while signing and sucked Libby into their previous conversation. Cyrus attempted to tune them out by pulling his binder back and flipping to a random page, prepared to study halfheartedly until he was interrupted by a buzz from his coat pocket.

_ 10:38 AM _

_ Tee Jay _

_ i hope finals are goin aight today  _

_ 10:38 AM _

_ Tee Jay _

_ heres a pic of amber crying bc i told her she looked pretty this mornin _

Cyrus could feel himself start to grin and casually hid it behind his hand before his friends noticed.

_ 10:38 AM _

_ She does look pretty! Finals are okay, all I have left is Physics :/. Plus my friends are debating if Gatsby ate a** to get rich :///. _

_ 10:39 AM _

_ Tee Jay _

_ SJDKHFKJSDHGKJHKJFHKFHGJJ _

_ 10:43 AM _

_ Tee Jay _

_ you censring ass makes that 10000000000000000x funnier to me _

_ 10:43 AM _

_ Oh would you look at that it’s time for me to go to my Physics final Right Now. _

_ 10:43 AM _

_ Tee Jay _

_ wiat no!!!!!!! _

_ 10:44 AM _

_ Tee Jay _

_ you cant fool me you told me the schedue 3 weeks ago i now for a fact your final doenst start until 11 _

_ 10:44 AM _

_ Darn you caught me. I actually do have to go to class early though, I have to ask my teacher a last minute question. _

_ 10:45 AM _

_ Tee Jay _

_ :( _

_ 10:45 AM _

_ Tee Jay _

_ can i text u after school? we have to drive all our crap to the new apt now that we done w schhool and its gonna take foreeeeeeeverrrr so boooooooring _

_ 10:46 AM _

_ (thumbs up emoji) _

_ 10:46 AM _

_ good luck on the test cy _

-

Sitting alone in a booth at the local coffee shop, Cyrus pressed the heels of his shoes into the cushion of the seat opposite of him. The tabletop was littered with crumb covered plates and mugs tinted brown. Andi and Buffy got up a few minutes ago to go to the bathroom and Cyrus was left alone to scroll mindlessly through posts he’d already seen and messages that didn’t exist. 

His physics final had gone smoothly, just as his friends predicted, and Cyrus spent the last few hours texting TJ on and off. Then TJ’s sister cut off his data usage and Cyrus’s phone was left blank. 

Andi and Buffy came bounding back to the table in a jumble of perfect hair and layered clothes, faces painted with grins. They re-entered Cyrus’s world with a burst of color midway through a conversation he already knew he’d lovingly hate.

“You’ve seriously never seen a picture of TJ.” Andi scoffed in disbelief. Buffy shrugged and ran her thumb along the edge of a plate dusted with leftover powdered sugar.

“The topic never came up.” Buffy countered with her classic “ _ I’m right you’re wrong” _ face set firmly in place.

“That is such bullshit, Buffy, all we do is talk about Cyrus’s mystery man.” Andi pulled a mug into her hand, eyes tracing a ring of coffee left to get cold at the cup’s bottom.

Cyrus cut into the conversation. “He’s not my mystery man.” Andi glanced up at him, staring before scoffing and rolling her eyes.

“God, just show her a picture, Cy.” He complied, unlocking his phone and pulling up a picture TJ sent that morning -- him grinning with a cup of iced coffee pressed to his cheek.

Buffy’s eyes widened every so slightly and returned to normal so quickly Cyrus barely even noticed. She smiled and nodded, letting out a tense laugh and glancing at Andi, who gave her a confused look and continued sorting sugar packets.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Cyrus angled his phone towards himself, scanning the picture for anything that could throw Buffy off. “Is it the coffee? I know you don’t like people to waste plastic bu-”

“It’s not the coffee, Cy.” Buffy cut off, taking Cyrus’s phone and zooming in on TJ’s picture with a scrutinizing look plastered on her face. 

“Then what is it? You’re never this suspicious about the guys I talk to.” Cyrus propped himself up on his elbows and watched as Buffy 

“That’s because you usually like are guys like  _ Jonah _ .” Her words were accompanied with a dopey grin and a pointed hand gesture.

“What does that mean? And I don’t like TJ like that. Stop it.” Cyrus asked, exasperated. Andi looked up from her sugar sorting and Buffy from analyzing TJ, both giving him a look he could easily translate. He rolled his eyes. “I don’t go for idiots. Just because I happened to like Jonah then Lucas right after him does not mean I am exclusively attracted to single brain celled dude-bros.”

“But you are, Cyrus. They’re harmless, they’d never hurt you in any way.” Buffy spoke as if she had authority over Cyrus’s every move. It set him far from comfortable.

Cyrus bundled slipped his fingers under the lining of his sweatshirt for some sort of stability. He really didn’t want to fight with Buffy today.“You’re saying TJ would? Hypothetically, if I even liked him.”

“This guy -- Remember Marty’s party Andi and I went to like a week before school started?” Buffy’s voice was flat, a level of gentle anger Cyrus knew could tip over and explode at any moment.

“Sure, why?”

“There was this guy I ranted about for weeks afterwards who was there, remember me telling  you about him?”

Cyrus hesitated. He didn’t like where he thought this was going. “I guess so.”

“That was  _ him _ , Cyrus. Your TJ is the sexist asshole who threw his beer bottle at my feet when I called him out!” Cyrus could have sworn his heart stopped. He never really listened to her rants about this guy, there were plenty of people Buffy liked to get pissed at offhandedly, but this one stuck with her. 

“Are you sure?” He insisted, glancing at Andi for assurance. Andi was completely still, her eyes wide with caution and hands spread over a scattered array of discarded sugar packets.   
  
Buffy huffed and rolled her eyes. “I mean, yeah, pretty damn sure.”

“There’s no way TJ would do something like that, he lives with his two sist-”

Buffy cut him off again. “It’s about time you stop floating around imagining this future full of, I don’t know, rainbows and sunshine and realize this guy’s a douchebag who you have no reason or chance of being with!”

“Buffy.” Andi hissed.

Cyrus shrunk back into the booth, his heart squeezing with the pain of her words. The week had already been stressful, he wasn't in the greatest head space and judging by the bagginess of his clothes significantly progressing throughout the week, he wasn't feeling to great about himself either. Buffy was the one who could usually pick out those things and say things to make him feel better, so hearing those words from her mouth hurt. His heart sunk to his stomach and his ribs felt like they were caving in and his chest was squeezing so tightly he felt nauseous and everything felt heavy his fingers were tingling and his throat was getting tight and he couldn't take it anymore.

“Fine Buffy. I think I might like him. Happy?” Buffy kept a steady face. “You’re one of my best friends, but you have no right to be policing my feelings.” Cyrus shoved his keys and wallet into his pocket and stood quickly, with enough force to slam his knee on the table and clink the empty mugs together. “Even if he does suck, it’s a pretty fucking low blow to say I don’t have a chance with him.” Cyrus spoke low, his eyes never leaving Buffy’s. He grabbed his backpack by the straps and rushed from the table, not turning back.

“Buffy, what the fuck?” He heard Andi’s voice cut through the air as he swung his backpack onto his shoulders. He barreled into the door, wincing at the high pitch of the entrance bell. He pulled his keys out of his pockets, feeling hazily for the unlock button as he fought back the sore feeling gathering in his throat and the hazy warmth building in his cheeks and eyes.

As he rushed through the parking lot towards his car he slammed into someone, not noticing their towering form from feet away.

“Oh shit!” A familiar voice cursed. Cyrus’s keys slipped from his hands, skittering across the lot, coming to a halt as they hit the wheel of a scarily expensive Tesla, one keychain popping off and bouncing to the person’s feet.

“I’m so sorry, sir! I wasn’t looking where I was going and I’m just-” Cyrus blubbered, quickly swiping under his eyes and jogging to his keys. He knelt and continued to mumble profuse apologies. “I was in such a rush I didn’t even see you coming I’m such a mess I’m so sor-”

“Cyrus?”

Cyrus blinked up through eyelashes clumped together by tears and cursed God for putting him on this earth.

“TJ.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >:)


	6. oh fuck

“TJ.”

_ Oh fuck. Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck _ . TJ was not mentally prepared for this moment. He’d been driving through a snowstorm for two hours straight while barely tolerating his sisters’ shitty pop music that he hated to love. They arrived in Shadyside 20 minutes ago and he was sent on an aimless coffee run in nothing but basketball shorts, knock off Birkenstocks, and a Harry Styles hoodie.

To say the least TJ wasn’t sure he was looking his best.

The disgruntled expression on Cyrus’s face assured that notion. The second their eyes met TJ watched every stage of grief pass through Cyrus’s eyes in a millisecond montage. Nausea flooded his entire body, from shoulder to toe to finger tip. 

TJ pulled the drawstring of his hoodie out of his mouth and licked his lips nervously. Oh fuck.

Cyrus looked dumbfounded, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion and arms tucked defensively across his chest. Seeing him in person somehow seemed incredibly wrong but entirely right. TJ felt like God took his 144p life and knocked it up to 720p HD for shits and gigs.

The silence was deafening. 

All TJ could do was soak Cyrus in. He was all soft slopes and kind features, not a single harsh line in sight. Concern laced his movements, tight and protective. He raised a hand and tucked a wayward tuft of hair behind his ear and pushed into a jungle of meticulously placed brown locks. His torso was buried underneath a sweater three times the proper size and a puffy jacket, his legs hidden in a pair of faded jeans worn with time rather than intent.

TJ tugged the waistband of his basketball shorts up. Nothing better to feel underdressed for than an impromptu meeting in a coffee shop parking lot. He scuffed the side of his shoe on the pavement and cleared his throat.

“So. Shadyside.”  _ Nice one, Kippen. _ Cyrus sniffled and fiddled with his keys. He shrugged.

  
“Yeah.” Cyrus responded, nudging his running nose with the heel of his hand. He cast his eyes to the ground. TJ followed the gaze from the ground up to Cyrus’s eyes and was shaken by their red tint and the shine of tears building at their water line. TJ wondered to himself if he was really that ugly, and then immediately felt selfish for thinking so.

Cyrus led his head with his chin and tilted it up. “Now’s not the best time. I’m-”

“Are you alright?” TJ asked cautiously. Cyrus’s chin quivered as he huffed out a frustrated sigh.

TJ hesitated, shaking his hand at his side like he’d been burned. “Sorry.” He bent down and took the wayward key chain in his hands, holding it out to Cyrus. 

Cyrus wound his eyes shut and sighed deeply. “No, I’m sorry. I’m just being dramatic. Thanks.” 

“I’m sure you’re not.” TJ assured, noting the watery sound of Cyrus’s voice. Cyrus carefully took the keychain, knuckles gently knocking against TJ’s. Cyrus squeezed the keychain in the palm of his hand, unintentionally squeezing his keys in his other hand. The blaring cry of a car’s emergency alarm erupted through the parking lot. 

Cyrus let out a blubbering cry and fumbled with his keys, pressing every button he could in an attempt to turn it off. 

Finally the alarm stopped and the echo of the noise ran through the parking lot into the distance.

Cyrus sunk to a squat, his feet plastered to the ground and arms tight around his legs, the heels of his hands pressed into his eyes. He looked defeated. TJ didn’t know what to do.

TJ’s chest was filled with something sticky, it felt like glue was sticking his lungs and ribs and heart together and pushing all air out of his body. Something about that sight overwhelmed him with an unexpected pain. Cyrus’s shoulders began to shake in a silent sob and TJ really didn’t know what to do.

He took a hesitant step toward Cyrus, bending down to his level and placing one hand on the freezing asphalt, stabilizing himself as he lowered to a squat. He placed his wallet and keys on the ground and licked his lips.

“Is it okay if I take your stuff? Just to put on the ground? They’re digging into your hands. It looks like it hurts.” TJ spoke with his voice as gentle as he could get it. Cyrus slid his face into the crook of his elbow and nodded wordlessly, opening his fists. TJ took the keychain and ring of keys from Cyrus’s surrendered palms and lowered them to the ground. A shiny film of tears dripped down Cyrus’s wrist and he continued to tremble.

“Do you want to talk?” TJ asked. Cyrus shook his head and wound his fingers together.

“Do you want me to talk?” TJ kept his voice at a steady tone, careful to keep it soft. Cyrus did nothing but allow his shoulders to shake before nodding gently. 

“Okay.” TJ paused to think of a story and a bell rang in his mind when he did. “So you already know how we’re moving because of Winnie’s job and such.” TJ began. Cyrus nodded. “Well we had to clean out our apartment to do that. So I was going through my closet and found a huge bin filled with binders and thought, oh, this has to be all of my old assignments from school because Winnie saves them for some reason so logically they’d be in there. So I pulled out the bin, the thing was heavy as hell, and opened it up and there were just binders and binders full of pokemon cards.” Cyrus’s shoulders had stopped shaking. 

“So I brought them to Winnie and I told her how much bank we could probably make off of them and she was all pumped because who doesn’t want to fight over prices of pokemon cards, so we put an offer up on some site. I don’t remember what it was but some dude bid a ton of money and we were hyped so we went to meet the guy.” Cyrus peeked from the safety of his elbow and poured his big brown eyes into TJ’s. TJ’s voice was momentarily caught in his throat. “The guy said I was too young to collect pokemon cards and I was like huh? Anyways that’s the story of how we made $30,000 off pokemon cards.”

They looked at each other for a while. TJ wasn’t talking any more but big studio Ghibli tears continued to well up in Cyrus’s eyes.

TJ lifted his hand, reaching out and hovering over Cyrus’s shoulder. He let it sit there, looking into Cyrus’s wide brown eyes, his lips parted and heart pounding.

“Can I?”

He spoke in less than a whisper. Something flashed in Cyrus’s eyes and he blinked a few times, spilling leftover tears onto his cheeks. He nodded.

TJ placed his hand in the curve of Cyrus’s upper arm just under his shoulder and was met with the cold fabric of his coat. He squeezed it firmly and gave a gentle smile.

Cyrus blinked up at him with his big doe eyes and sniffled, rising to his feet. TJ’s eyebrows jumped in surprise and he followed suit, picking their things up from the pavement. 

Now both on their feet, an outsider would think that it was some weird staredown. That is, until the one with the brown hair pulled the blonde one into a slow hug, his slumped body language the image of surrender.

Cyrus balled his fists into TJ’s sweatshirt and hung on like his life depended on it. Again, TJ didn’t know what to do. He wound his arms around Cyrus’s waist and frowned at the shake of his shoulders. He could feel Cyrus’s phone buzzing in his coat pocket but didn’t let go until Cyrus chose to.

A huge watered down groan filled the quiet of the parking lot.

“You make no sense, TJ.” Cyrus muttered into the crook of his friend’s neck.

He didn’t know where that statement came from but TJ’s heart still squeezed at the sound of his name being spoken. 

Cyrus let go and took a step back, brushing the tears off his cheeks and wiping his hands on his jeans.

“Jeez. Sorry about that.” Cyrus mumbled. His nose was pink from the cold, his eyes pink with tears, his cheeks pink with embarrassment. He didn’t make any eye contact.

“No worries.” TJ chuckled nervously and watched for Cyrus’s next move. 

Cyrus’s fingers tapped each other out of habit. His eyes met TJ’s and he breathed out a small but genuine laugh.

“That was mortifying.” Cyrus’s smile was soaked in sadness but gleamed with mirth.

TJ pressed his lips together and let out a whine of a giggle. He squeezed his eyes closed and clapped his hand over his mouth. No one on Earth had ever been able to make TJ  _ giggle _ before.

He opened his eyes to Cyrus smiling gently. He cleared his throat and stuffed his hands into the pocket of his hoodie.

“Sorry. Not laughing at you. Just, like, the whole situation we’re in.” He hoped he didn’t sound stupid, but Cyrus just nodded and TJ couldn’t help but feel like an idiot.

“I’m freezing, are you freezing? How is it so fucking cold?” TJ asked, glancing around the parking lot. “I need to get into that coffee shop or into my car very soon.”

“Yeah, I should head home.” Cyrus wiped his nose again and Cyrus glanced at the shops behind him, wringing his hands together nervously. His left eye twitched at the sight of something behind the glass and he muttered an assurance that he should leave. TJ glanced over his shoulder but didn’t recognize anything of concern. 

“Yeah.” Dipping his hands into the pocket of his hoodie, TJ ignored the awkwardness as best he could. “You’ve been here before, I’m assuming?” TJ gestured to the coffee shop behind him. Cyrus nodded. “Any recommendations?” 

Cyrus sniffled aggressively and made a few thinking noises. “I like their matcha lattes with oat milk but my friends swear by any of their iced seasonal drinks. Even though it's freezing. There’s other good things though.” TJ hummed.

  
“You want to come in with me and show me what they are?” TJ grinned like a mischievous toddler. Cyrus glanced at the shop again and shook his head. TJ felt another smile spread across his face as a snowflake landed on one of Cyrus’s eyelashes, tumbling off and melting on his cheek. The snow was starting up again. 

“It’s totally fine if you say no.” TJ was careful in his suggestion, eyes drinking in every response Cyrus had. 

A buzz sounded from Cyrus’s pocket and he pulled his phone out, glancing at the screen and grimacing.

“Maybe another time.” Cyrus wore a guilty look and TJ shook his head.

“Totally fine. We can raincheck.” He gave an awkward thumbs up and realized he still had Cyrus’s stuff. TJ tossed the keychain in Cyrus’s direction and whooped when he caught it. 

“I thought you said you can’t catch for shit!” TJ raved. Cyrus laughed and looked confused.

  
“I can’t!” He held his hand open in a gesture for TJ to throw the keychain over. TJ obeyed and cast it toward him with a gentle underhand toss, watching it bounce off Cyrus’s hand and tumble to the ground. TJ’s big barking laugh shattered the winter air. Big fluffy snowflakes seemed to rain down at it’s command. Cyrus groaned and swooped to pick the keychain up.

“I’m leaving!” Cyrus turned and started towards wherever his car was. TJ stood joyfully confused as he kept on walking.

“Rude as hell!” TJ shouted. Cyrus whipped around in a quick 180 and grinned, continuing to walk backwards. “Text me!” TJ cried with an exasperated smile. Cyrus gave two thumbs up and bumped into a car. 

“Bye TJ!” Cyrus called out and turned again, jogging to a car dirtied with winter slush and ducking into it. 

TJ entered the coffee shop with a smile on his face and the feeling of eyes on him. He dropped the smile and left the shop with two iced coffees and one matcha latte with oak milk.

-

20 minutes later, TJ Kippen laid in the middle of a bare room filled with boxes, trying to drown out the sound of shuffling from the room over with a 70s song that made him feel like he was lying in the sun. 

He liked their new apartment: it was smaller than the last, but sharing space was never a problem for them. TJ honestly preferred it smaller—he thought it was cozy. Upon entering, the little family was thrilled to find a blank canvas; Amber insisted she would take charge of decorating and make the apartment a cottagecore dream. 

Amber and TJ would still share a room and Winnie would have one of her own, but the single bathroom they were all sharing was a disaster waiting to happen. TJ loved sharing his space with his sisters, they helped him keep everything clean and stay on track, but he hated everything about sharing a bathroom. In Willow Glen the girls used one bathroom and TJ the other, but now TJ could taste the fights on the horizon.

Their kitchen was small but the appliances were modern and Winnie was beyond excited to hang things up on the magnetic fridge. It was open and had a dining area to the side, connecting to the living room space. It had that new house smell and a clean carpet, a big change from their old lived and loved apartment. 

He was imagining what his bedroom would look like all moved in when the song cut off and TJ groaned, assuming his phone died as he propped himself up on his elbows and leaned over to see. He was surprised to find a call screen with Cyrus’s face on it. He fumbled to accept the call and lift the phone to his ear.

“Cy guy! Hey!” Boredom had already been setting in, so TJ was thrilled when he saw Cyrus’s name. 

“Hey!” Cyrus’s voice sounded more like it normally did, less nasally and more upbeat. It lifted some kind of weight off TJ’s shoulders. “I was wondering if you might want to go get boba with me? You’re probably busy moving in but I thought I’d ask.” TJ laid flat on the ground and pondered the question for a moment.

“Who the fuck is Boba?” 

Cyrus scoffed. “TJ. Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. I don’t know anyone named Boba. Yoda?” TJ heard a deep sigh over the phone.

“No, the drink! The one with the little tapioca balls at the bottom?” 

“I literally have no idea what the hell that is.” 

“You don’t have a lot of ideas period.” Amber said, entering the room with yet another box to be unpacked from a seemingly endless supply. “Do you want to try helping maybe?” She huffed and lowered the box to the ground.

“I will, I will.” TJ insisted, shifting to sit up and stretching his legs as long as he could to kick Amber. She kicked him back and started to leave the room. TJ stretched his legs to trip her and grinned when she stumbled. “Where’s Winnie? I have to ask her something.” TJ asked, his phone still smushed to the side of his face. 

Amber scowled and pointed at him like she was about to say it—she didn’t care that he broke his elbow.

“I don’t have to tell you anything.” She muttered, putting extra emphasis on the  _ you _ . TJ tilted his head and smiled innocently in an effort to coerce. Amber narrowed her eyes and turned, speaking on her way out. “Kitchen. She’s putting the knives away so be nice.”

“Hold on Cyrus, don’t hang up.” TJ scrambled to his feet and followed Amber down the hall, holding the phone in front of his face and speaking into the bottom of it. 

Approaching the kitchen, TJ leaned on the fridge. He noticed a picture of the three of them was already displayed under a pink flower shaped magnet. 

“Hey Winnie,” He started, a not-so-innocent tilt in his voice. Winnie was facing the corner of the kitchen, her head bobbing to the beat of a crooner song coming from a portable speaker by the fridge. She didn’t turn around and continued unpacking a small box on the counter.

“Hey TJ,” Winnie began collapsing the box and hummed as she folded it’s edges and flattened it. She stopped her humming momentarily and tapped the box on the counter; TJ could tell she was thinking. “Do you want Chinese take out for dinner or pizza?” 

“Pizza. Can I go out for a little bit?” TJ fiddled with his phone case, careful not to end the call with Cyrus.

Winnie turned around and sliced open the tape sealing a box on the floor labeled ‘kitchen’ with a knife meant for cutting loaves of bread. “For what?”

“To get boba.” TJ said casually, as if he didn’t just learn what that was five seconds ago. Winnie looked as confused as TJ assumed he sounded.

“Boba? Who’s Boba?” Winnie asked, setting the knife on the counter and pulling a toaster out of the box.

“A drink with tappy yoga. Cyrus invited me.”

She glanced up from sorting through a stack of pots with a gleam in her eyes. “Can we meet him?”

TJ told his sisters the story of the accidental meet up he had with Cyrus in the parking lot with great detail, weaving around the crying and the awkwardness. From what Amber and Winnie were told, their interaction flowed as if they had known each other for years. 

“...Maybe.” 

“Fine. Are you eating while you’re out then?”

“I don’t know.” 

“Okay, just text me what’s going on like usual.” A crooner song began and TJ was sure she was playing an old playlist of his. He idled for a bit longer, opening and closing the fridge a few times while making noises to the beat of the song. As he began walking away Winnie clapped her hands together and grabbed his attention. “Hey, I totally forgot! So the truck with our mattresses isn’t coming until tomorrow. There was a mess up with dates, so please be a kind brother and help Amber set up the sleeping bags when you can.”

TJ gagged dramatically. “What? Those things are gross! They smell like mothballs and piss.” Winnie gave him a pointed stare and continued on with her unpacking. 

“Keep that attitude up and you’re sleeping on the floor, mister.” 

“Fine. Thanks, Winnie.” TJ began walking away, weaving through towers of half unpacked boxes. 

“Help unpack a little while you’re out of that room!” Winnie called. TJ heard a clatter behind him as he placed his phone to the side of his face.

“Everything okay?” Cyrus asked gently. TJ sighed and shrugged. He realized he was on the phone and mentally smacked himself for being stupid.

“Yeah, sleeping bags for the Kippens tonight.” 

“Do you want to sleep at my house tonight? We have space and an open bed.” The phone crackled as neither of them spoke.

“Cyrus, I could never invade your space like that.” TJ didn’t really like phone calls with Cyrus, he preferred facetime. Half of Cyrus’s vocabulary was facial expressions.

  
“Hey! You’re not. I’m inviting you to invade my space.”

TJ grinned, his eyes squinting with the prediction of a bad joke. “That’s what she said.”

“Shut up!”

“Never.”

“Send me your address, I’ll pick you up in half an hour.”

The line went dead and TJ assumed the flutter of his heart was a wave of excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all you cool cats and kittens its emma here at andi mack rescue for an update after three entire months >:-)


	7. tappy yoga

Cyrus watched TJ step out of the lobby of his apartment from the driver’s seat of his car, a smile on his face and his fingers alight with nerves. TJ still wore a sweatshirt and shorts, but a pair of sunglasses too big for his face was added to his ensemble of an outfit.

TJ scanned the cars parked along the curb and caught sight of Cyrus through his passenger window, big clumps of snowflakes crash landing and sliding down the surface. TJ’s face lit up and his mouth dropped to form a wide “O”, his hands flying to his head in surprise. Cyrus could hear his muffled voice forming excited whoops and hollers and grinned as his friend ran towards the car, his backpack slamming against his back with each misguided step.

The sight of TJ’s grin swept Cyrus’s lingering uncertainty under the rug. At this point, the only thing Cyrus was scared of was TJ judging his taste in music.

Cyrus unlocked his car and felt his nerves disappear when TJ tore the door open, everything about his body language reading of elation.

“Oh my God!” TJ shouted. “You have a Rav 4! How did I not know that about you?” He was breathless, his words stumbling out of his mouth without hesitation. 

Cyrus opened his mouth and closed it. It was his turn to be confused. “What’s a Rav 4?”

“What do you mean what’s a Rav 4? It’s the car you’re driving!” TJ pushed his backpack into the space under the dashboard and all but leapt into the passenger seat. He unzipped his bag and rustled through it.

“Didn’t you see me get into my car at Blue’s?”

TJ glanced up from his bag and scratched his head, his eyes squinted. “What’s Blue’s?”

“The coffee shop.” Cyrus gently reminded him, gesturing toward an empty paper cup nestled in the middle console’s cup holder, it’s sides stamped with the shop’s logo.

“Oh. No I was... distracted.” TJ pulled his phone out from the depths of his backpack and raised it to take some pictures of the car’s accommodations, his hands shaking. He whistled a low note and nodded, his gesture a sign of respect. “A  _ Rav 4 _ . I’m just- like blown away. I thought you’d drive a Jeep wrangler or some shit.”

Cyrus laughed and shifted his car into drive. “Woah, my family doesn’t have that much money. Put on your buckle.”

“On average wranglers are only about $4,000 more than rav 4s.” TJ stated. Cyrus took note of the confidence in his voice. TJ followed Cyrus’s instruction and slid the belt buckle into place. The car shifted into motion as Cyrus maneuvered out of the parallel parking place.

Cyrus gave TJ a look. “$4,000? That’s a lot of money, TJ.” 

“No, no, I know. That came out wrong. What I mean is wranglers are cool because they’re Jeeps and teenagers like Jeeps and you’re a teenager so maybe you’d get a car like that.”

Cyrus sighed deeply as the car rolled past cosy suburban homes. “TJ, I honestly did not know I had a Rav 4 before you told me, I just knew it was a Honda.”

“Rav 4s are Toyota, Cyrus.” 

“...Shut up.” 

“Look at your car, Cyrus! It’s so aggressive looking but so gentle, it’s sharp on the edges but warm and fuzzy like a mom. That’s it’s whole appeal, it’s momliness.” 

“Well my mom picked it out because she said it was cute and fun but also safe.”

“Exactly. The inside is pretty basic, but your 2019 model is just gorgeous. The awesome set to the left of the transmission is high tech yet discreet. The infotainment screen is protruding from the dash -- a modern touch in luxury cars -- and the touch to start is always a great addition to a vehicle. A beautiful LED cluster gauge screen displaying what the driver needs and wants, and a hard tachometer and speedometer. I can’t get over it.”

“How did I not know you’re a car guy? That’s the most eloquently you’ve ever spoken.”

“What does eloquent mean.” 

“Oh my-” Cyrus felt a begrudging grin pull at his cheeks as he shook his head. “I don’t even know how to deal with you, TJ.”

TJ scoffed. “ _ You _ don’t know how to deal with _ me. _ ”

Cyrus tossed a playful glance over his shoulder. “And what about it?” TJ huffed and crossed his arms. 

“How much longer until we get to this place anyway?” Cyrus glanced over and was caught by the sudden realization just how blonde TJ’s hair was. The moment was interrupted when TJ clumsily tried to shove his phone into the front pocket of his corduroy pants, letting out a sharp swear when it slipped from his hands. Cyrus decided to look away.

“We’re almost there, you big baby.”

“Hey! If anything I’m the opposite.”

“Okay then, tiny man.”

TJ’s mouth hung open, it’s ends twisted in a surprised smile. He laughed quietly in disbelief and shook his head as he muttered  _ asswipe _ quietly. Cyrus kept his eyes on the road but peeked at TJ a few times, a muted smile the result of a repressed grin.

They didn’t speak for the rest of the drive; the Joji song on aux filled up the silence. Cyrus spotted TJ’s knee bopping to the beat everytime he glanced at his right mirror and was very happy to see a pale hand reach to turn up the volume. 

The lack of conversation wasn’t awkward, at least Cyrus didn’t think it was, but he was still relieved when the shopping complex came into view. Just as Joji began to sing about something far too sad for his own good, Cyrus reached to turn the volume down.

“There’s a Coldstone around here, we could go there instead if you want?”

“No fuckin’ way. You told me about boba, now I have to eat it.” TJ shrugged.

  
“Just making sure. Boba it is.” Cyrus’s pointed out the building as they pulled into a spot not too far from the entrance.

The pair exited and ran to the door as quickly as they could, coats tucked tight to their chests with hands tucked in their armpits. Laughs littered the parking lot as TJ ran to knock his shoulder against Cyrus’s, sending him scrambling a few steps away. An unspoken bet of who could reach the door first settled between them, worn shoes tapping concrete and freezing air caught in tight chests.

A tiny bell rang above them as Cyrus reached the door, the palms of his hands colliding with the handle before TJ could make it. A groan from behind him told Cyrus that his friend was upset in the way that could be mended with a swift handshake and a cold drink. Cyrus whipped around and extended his hand, surprised at how easily he could control his breathing. 

TJ looked Cyrus up and down as if he was an opponent and shook Cyrus’s hand with as little grace as possible.

“Well TJ, welcome to Bea’s Boba House. I’ve been to many boba places and so far this place has been the best.”

TJ nodded and took in his surroundings. “Huh. Cozy.”

“Yeah! We can bring it in the car though, I don’t really feel like seeing anyone from school.” Cyrus laughed awkwardly under his breath and started for the register. TJ trailed behind and looked up at the neverending menu.

“What the fuck?”

“Choose a flavor and what you want at the bottom. Do you want it blended or over ice?”

“Cyrus I literally have no clue what you’re saying.” He put on his best puppy eyes. “Can you just order for me?” 

“Fine. Do you like green tea? Matcha is good.”

  
“Oh, I had matcha earlier. From that coffee place.” TJ spoke as he stared up at the board covered in colorful words. Something in Cyrus’s heart squeezed as he realized TJ had actually taken his recommendation.

“What’s your favorite fruit, then?”

“Uhh,” TJ squeezed his eyes shut and pursed his lips. “My instinct is to say mango but that’s totally not true at all.”

“What?”

  
“Grapefruit.” 

“That’s a first. How does mango grapefruit sound?”

“Super weird. Get it for me.”

By the time they got back to the car, Cyrus was regretting his choice of iced milk tea. He shivered as he fumbled to unlock the car, the cold winter air seeping through his many layers of clothing into his bones.

“Unlock the car, dumbass!” TJ shouted, pulling on the passenger side’s door handle frantically.

“Stop yanking that! You’re gonna break my car,  _ dumbass _ !” Cyrus shouted back, finally hitting the right button and tumbling into his seat. 

“Heat! Turn the heat up!” TJ insisted, carefully placing his drink in a cup holder while trying to press his hands against the car’s vents.

“Calm down! You’re like a little kid.” Cyrus started the car and cranked the heat, ignoring the cold in favor of his tea as he sipped it and smiled.

“Wait, so what’d you get? Honey? Does it taste any good?”

Cyrus nodded. “I love honey so much.”

“Crazy. You’re like a little honey bee or some shit.”

“Hey, it’s good!” Cyrus held his hands to the air vents, sighing as warm air kissed his knuckles. “Besides, I don’t think bees eat honey.”

“ _ It’s good _ ,” TJ mocked, taking a sip of his own drink. Cyrus watched expectantly, following the shadow of the first tapioca ball as it glided up the wide straw. TJ immediately shrunk in on himself and squeezed his eyes shut.

“The fuck?” TJ’s mouth hung open like a baby eating a lemon for the first time. “What do I do?” He questioned, holding his hand below his jaw as if planning to spit it out.

“Chew it!” 

TJ chewed, his eyes still screwed shut. He squealed a high pitch whine and shuddered as he swallowed. As TJ opened his eyes he looked to Cyrus, his eyes wide with confusion.

“I don’t know how to feel.”

“Did your drink taste any good?” Cyrus asked, smiling so big his cheeks hurt.

“I was kind of thrown off by a bunch of tiny little balls going into my mouth. Don’t make a  _ that’s what she said _ joke.”

“I wasn’t going to!”

TJ looked at Cyrus with suspicion, raising his straw to his mouth.

“It scared me at first but now I’m kind of obsessed.” 

“What did I say? Boba is a teen’s best friend.” Cyrus laughed awkwardly and took another sip, letting a comfortable silence settle over them.

“Hey TJ?” Cyrus shifted in his seat, tucking one knee to his chest and resting it on the center console. 

“Hey what?” TJ unlocked his phone and opened his messages app. Cyrus felt like he was invading and turned his head to look out the windshield. 

“You told me you were moving, how come you didn’t say anything about Shadyside?” Cyrus saw TJ turn his phone off in his peripheral. 

“Well, I didn’t know if you were a stalker or something. Besides,” TJ hesitated for a long while. “thinking you lived somewhere far away made it all… I don’t know. Less scary?” Cyrus silently agreed but still felt a heavy feeling in his chest. He rolled his eyes and smiled to force himself into a more pleasant mood. 

“What part of me looks like a stalker?” Swirling the tapioca at the bottom of the cup with his straw, Cyrus hoped he didn’t sound whiny. TJ just laughed heartily, like he always did.

“You never know!”

Cyrus breathed a laugh through his nose and smiled, the grin quiet and close lipped. He raised his drink and took a long sip. A tiny sharp by his temples and on the roof of his mouth made Cyrus grimace, immediately making a small sound of distress. 

“What?” TJ asked, concern shaping his words.

Cyrus closed his eyes tight enough to see TV static and pressed his thumb to the roof of his mouth. “Brain freeze.” He winced. 

“Seriously? Dude, take it like a man!” TJ sounded less than impressed. 

Cyrus was officially uncomfortable. He always knew he wasn’t as stereotypically masculine as people would like him to be and he was perfectly fine with that. Those jokes bug him, sure, but he never really took offense to them, but something about hearing his friend say something like that made him a little prickly. 

The upbeat pop beat on radio faded out and a solemn indie song began, the mood in the car following. Cyrus counted measures of the song in his head as the cold feeling faded. He held his cup to his stomach, watching it rise and fall. Up. Down. Up. Down.

The silence was definitely awkward now. The air was staticky and the wounded look Cyrus tried to hide made everything feel like the world after the initial shock of lightning striking in the distance.

“Hey, did that make you uncomfortable?” TJ asked, his volume level audibly kicked down a few notches.

“Yeah, kinda.” 

“Sorry, I say a lot of dumb shit.” TJ leaned forward in his seat and tried to lower himself into Cyrus’s line of sight. 

Cyrus kept looking at the plastic cup pressed to his tummy. Up. Down. 

He didn’t really want to look over at TJ anymore.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Like when you said the thing about Buffy?” The second Cyrus said it he knew he was going to destroy whatever was left of the afternoon’s friendly vibe.

“Buffy the vampire slayer?”

“No, Buffy Driscoll.” Cyrus glanced towards the passenger side of the car and saw realization set in as TJ raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“Holy shit! You know Driscoll? She’s hands down one of the best highschool level basketball players I’ve ever seen.” TJ sounded thrilled; a fan in the presence of his idol.

“TJ. I’m serious.” The tone of Cyrus was the direct opposite of what TJ expressed.

“Yeah? I am too.” TJ spoke, his voice muddled.

Cyrus looked right into TJ’s eyes, a little frustrated. “Do you not know what I’m talking about? Or are you just pretending?”

TJ’s brows quickly rose and drew together. He laughed something short in an awkward attempt to cover his shock.

“No, why would I pretend? What are you talking about?” TJ asked, his voice becoming increasingly frantic. Cyrus sighed and pressed his lips together, shifting his body to face TJ.

“The party. The one that was, like, a week before school started? You texted me that night.” 

All the humor remaining on TJ’s face faded. Cyrus could feel his own heart sinking as TJ’s expression dropped.

“You were there?”

“No, Buffy went with our friend Andi.” Cyrus’s heart pounded. To him, the fact that TJ questioned if he was there affimed that he’d done something wrong and knew it. 

“Cyrus, you have to believe me, I don’t remember anything past the bike ride there. I started drinking right away.” 

Something about that twisted Cyrus the wrong way. He was well aware that underage drinking happened, but he wasn’t usually one to get all buddy-buddy with the teenage alcoholic type.

“I don’t remember anything, Cyrus.”

Cyrus chewed at the inside of his cheek and tried to think but his mind was spinning.

“There’s a video.” 

“What?”

Cyrus pressed his lips together and looked at TJ. The boy’s face was so contorted that a picture of it could be next to the word “confusion” in the dictionary.

Placing his boba into a cup holder, Cyrus unzipped his coat pocket and felt around for his phone. It was cold in his hands when he pulled it out. The screensaver of his smiling friends offered him no consultation.

He scrolled through months of photos, memes, and videos sent in the GHC groupchat until he reached a grainy second-hand video he never found much interest in before. He held it out to hand to TJ, who carefully took it into his hands without a word.

The words in the video were muffled; indecipherable. Cyrus strained to listen. The screen was littered with blurred forms, three teens in the center over the shoulders of bystanders. It was obvious they were the focus of the video, angry shouts bouncing between the two in a heated argument. A tall blonde roared with anger and threw what he was holding at his feet. The shatter was loud, even over the dramaticized gasps of drunk observers, and the spray of glass caused everyone in the immediate vicinity to jump back.

Cyrus could see the blurry shape of Buffy storm up to the boy, who he could now identify as TJ, and push him back with her forearm, shouting with the characteristic fire she carried in her chest. The video ended with TJ falling back, landing on his elbows. 

With the video over, TJ pressed the radio’s volume button and muted it. He stared at the frozen screen with an expression Cyrus couldn’t describe. 

“It’s too blurry. I never made the connection.” Cyrus mumbled into the silence.

TJ’s face was blank, his mouth shaping the word  _ fuck _ as he tapped on the screen, rewinding the video and watching it from the beginning. He watched the clip with an obsessive repetition, when he looked at Cyrus he eyes were wide, the whites reading of genuine fear.

“I couldn’t’ve.” 

“You did.” 

TJ’s mouth opened and closed a few times. He rested the palm of his hand on his forehead as he watched the clip again.

“I don’t even know what I said but there’s no fucking way I’d say  _ that _ .” He was so, so quiet. Part of Cyrus thought it was real and another part was far too wary of manipulation to buy it so quickly.

“Drunk words are sober thoughts, TJ.” 

“I swear to God, I swear on my life, I’ve seen Buffy play ball. She’s fucking amazing, if I ever said anything to her it’d be admiration.” His stance wasn’t exactly defensive, more like a frightened monkey backed into a corner.

“Andi was there too. She can account for the whole intelligence thing.”

“Intelligence? I have no memory of that.” TJ was still gripping Cyrus’s phone, his knuckles white. Cyrus gave him a very skeptical look.

“You were drunk off your ass. Of course you don’t. You didn’t remember texting me either, but you definitely did.”

“Oh my God.” TJ let his head fall back and knock against the headrest. “Shit.”

“What?”

“What did I say?” He braced for impact, his shoulders tense as he clutched Cyrus’s phone. Cyrus sighed and pried his phone away, turning it off and tucking it under his thigh. 

  
“Essentially, you guys were talking about basketball or sports or something, but Buffy called you out for saying something sexist. When she did you told her to stop pretending like she knew what she was talking about.” Cyrus explained, running the tips of his fingers over a crease in the fabric of his pants, looking anywhere but TJ. He pressed the fold down each time it popped back up.

“Fuck. I literally have no idea what to think about myself.” TJ turned his head toward Cyrus, its crown still pressed into the headrest. “I’m sorry, Cyrus.”

Cyrus pressed his lips together and listened to the gentle patting of heavy snowflakes falling on the car. The heater whirred and the flakes melted quickly, sliding into a puddle under the windshield wipers. 

“Why’d you throw the beer bottle?” Cyrus asked, so gentle it hardly left his mouth. TJ frowned and covered his eyes with his arm.

“I’m about to let loose some heavy shit.” Cyrus nodded. “It was the anniversary of my mom leaving us.”

“Like, dying?”

“No. Fuck. I don’t want to talk about this.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Like, up and leaving because she was sick of having to take care of us.” TJ swallowed and turned his head to face the window. Cyrus said nothing.

“It pissed me off beyond belief. I get mad about it but never that bad. I can push it back most of the time and think about, like, what I have and how good it is. But I didn’t. I was mad and there happened to be alcohol around.” TJ’s voice caught in his throat and he cleared it shakily.

“I just wanted to be happy. I was sick of being mad so I tried to, you know, drink it away. So I did. Anger and shit beer don’t mix.”

Cyrus could feel his heart in his throat. He was deathly afraid that TJ was weaving a big lie, but his mercy overshone his fear.

“That’s not healthy. Like at all.” Cyrus nudged TJ’s shoulder gently. TJ looked over his shoulder, chewing at the inside of his cheek. His face read of guilt more clearly than a book.

“I know.” 

“Yeah.”

TJ cracked his knuckles. “Doing all that is still fucked up to you, isn’t it?”

“TJ, I’m the kid of four psycologists. The ability to identify unhealthy behavior is bred into my bones.”

TJ put his head in his hands, blocking the view of his tilted eyebrows and downturned mouth. “I don’t know what to do.” 

“You can start by apologizing.”

“I’m sorry, Cyrus.” He looked up and Cyrus was surprisingly taken aback to see TJ’s face as distraught as it was. “I’m so, so, sorry.”

“Not to me.” Cyrus pointed out. “To Buffy.”

“How do I do that?” TJ’s elbows dug into his knees, the heels of his hands into his forehead. 

“We’ll figure that out when we get there.” 

“I am sorry, though, Cyrus. To you. For everything.” TJ looked into Cyrus’s eyes, apologetic but firm.

Cyrus twisted his key in the ignition and put the car in reverse.

“... Drink your boba.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GIRL i did not realize its been a month since i updated gotdamn my bad anyways come talk to me @millabloop on tumblr can you tell im not a fan of writing action i promise next chapter will be more exciting


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